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Post Info TOPIC: Made it one week


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Made it one week
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Hey all.  So, today was my one week mark of no drinking.

The Bad: I'm tired, still having sleep issues, having a bit of nausea throughout the days, and those cravings we all know and love (snort) have been smacking me upside the head these last two days.  I'm still having a hard time coping with my anxiety, too and I'm still feeling fuzzy headed throughout the day and into the afternoon.

The Frustrating: Everyone thinks "Oh, you've been sober a week, you're the same person you used to be!  Let's go here and here and visit these people and do this and this and this."  I can't seem to explain that this is exhausting for me and I have a threshold of what I can handle throughout the day.  I'm not hiding in a corner, but I celebrate things like getting through the work day, doing a little grocery shopping, walking my dogs, etc.  I simply don't have the energy to deal with other people's problems (i.e. your cousin's dog won't stop barking at the neighbors, you need to call her and give her advice!) or go on these extravagant outings yet.  

The Good: First of all, I did it.  I made it SEVEN days!  When the fuzzy head feeling goes away, usually around 3pm, I'm *much* more alert and have more energy.  My memory is better (I can actually remember the entire week!  Holy crap!).  I've been getting little things done around the apartment that have added up and I'm that much closer to having an organized (or at least, more organized) living space.  My dogs are happier because I'm playing with them more and getting them out of the house for little local drives.  One thing I'm *not* anxious about is hiding my drinking since I'm sober and my apartment is totally liquor free.  FYI, I'm starting to realize how much energy I expended trying to hide the whiskey breath and bottles.  That was like being in a constant cloud of terror.  And it's coming Fall in my beloved New England.  OK, that one doesn't have anything to do with me being sober but being sober allows me to appreciate it fully for the first time in years and years. :)

Hope this message finds all of you in good spirits.  I couldn't have done this without all the support I've gotten, and you've all been a big part of that :)  Talk soon.  xoxo



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GG, it takes some time to really start feeling better, but believe me, you will start to feel better. A little bit every day. You've got to realize, your brain and body isn't used to not having alcohol, it was dependent on it, and you took it away, so your body is kind of in shock. It's not going to adjust over night, or in a week, or even a month. It takes time. But little by little, it will adjust, and your brain will heal. But right now, your brain is probably not making the "feel good" chemicals that normal people's brain make. When you drink alcohol heavy, for a long period of time, your brain stops making the chemicals that it uses to feel "normal". It takes some time for your brain to start making those little feel good chemicals again, and it takes time for the receptors in your brain to heal well enough to use them. 

People don't realize how damaging alcohol really is, especially over a long time of heavy abuse. The good news is, your body and brain WILL heal, and you WILL feel better, WAY better. But it takes some time. So, dont give up, just because you're not feeling right on a particular day. The alcoholism will tell you "just have a drink, and you'll feel better". But that relief is very temporary, and ithe long term pain ain't worth the temporary relief it provides. 

Thats why we have the program, and meetings, and the Big Book. To help us when that alcohol is calling to come back. We can't do it on our own, we need help, and what better help is there, than a bunch of people who have experienced/are experiencing the same thing. It's almost impossible to quit that shit for good on your own, some people have done it, but it's very few and far between. I tried countless times to stop on my own, and I just couldn't do it. Alcohol is a powerful poison, and having help to stay off of it is the best thing in the world. 

 



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Let me make a little analogy for you, GG. 

Suppose you were trapped inside of a volcano. And you tried and tried and tried, over and over and over to get out, but you just couldn't escape. But, at the top of the volcano, there was some people looking down. And they see you. And they say "hey, we were trapped in there, too. But some friends helped us get out. They figured out a path, a way to climb out of the volcano, and we're here to help you get out, too!" 

You would probably be happy to get their help to climb out of the volcano. Well, alcoholism is the volcano, the Big Book is the path, and the people at the top of the volcano are just like the people in AA. 

I just thought about something while writing that analogy.

if you fell inside of a volcano, you would be all burned up, dead. There would be no chance for help. But this alcohol thing, well, you're not dead, thank God. 

Just don't drink today, GG. Don't think about tomorrow, just deal with today. You're awesome for making it a whole week without taking a drink. You're well on you're way to a better life. And you will feel better soon. Congratulations on a week, GG. We all know how hard that first week is. Some of us required hospitalization to get through it. You toughed out the hardest part. It gets easier from here on out. Way to go, GG!



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ODAAT- One day at a time.

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But for the grace of God.


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Oh WOW, GG, ... A BIG CONGRATS to you for week 1 ... ... ... you go girl ...

clap.gif   clap.gif   clap.gif   clap.gif   clap.gif

 

SEE, being without alcohol didn't kill you after all ... (I was afraid I'd die without the stuff) ...

Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful so don't let the voice in your head tell you any different ... keep do'n what you're do'n ... and get to work'n the 12 steps in the AA Big Book ... you DESERVE it ... 

 

Love ya and God Bless,

Pappy



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Have a blessed and productive day One day at a time, Keep doing the work  smile



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Baba Louie wrote:

I just thought about something while writing that analogy.

if you fell inside of a volcano, you would be all burned up, dead... 


 Not necessarily. She might've packed one of these anti-volcano suits.

STID_Spock_11.jpg

Hang in there, GG. And remember, the benefits of The Good outweigh the detriments of The Frustrating. Or The Bad.

 






-- Edited by Tanin on Monday 21st of September 2015 02:39:58 PM

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Thanks all! :)  Today is going very well.  I met my one-on-one counselor today. It turns out he does double duty working with addicts as well as people with depressive and anxiety disorders.  This was a random counselor assigned through a referral by someone unaware of the vast extent of my issues.  I expected to go in, talk to him, and then get assigned to someone with the above qualifications but I hit gold right off the bat.  We meshed really well, a far cry from my last attempt at therapy, and I'm really excited to work with him on my road to recovery.  He feels good working with me, too, and thinks we can make good progress and come up with new coping mechanisms together.  I felt zero judgement from him as he knows the score and I was super comfortable being honest with him.   He asked me if I was interested working with him instead of being assigned to a different person (he went through my options with me) and I jumped at the opportunity.   He's booked pretty solid so it'll be a few weeks before we meet again but I'm very encouraged. 

 

I'm going to my meeting tonight and hoping it'll be better than last week.  Maybe I'll feel more comfortable.  I'm hoping I have the courage this time to get up and get my first chip.  Today marks day nine of no drinking.  I kept busy.  After my appointment this morning, I drove around the city, stopped to get some blood drawn for another doctors apt. with my PCP that's coming up, chatted with some really cool people, got some coffee, enjoyed the drive back out to the country, got home and played with three of my dogs outside.  Now I have a bunch of furry things on the couch with me and am just relaxing until I leave for AA.  :)   Oh, and last night, I actually had a pretty decent nights sleep!  Not great, but much better than I've been experiencing this past week. *grateful*

I hope everyone is doing well today. :)  You're all in my thoughts daily. xoxo



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hi Graygirl,

 

That's great news about the counselor (kinda bad about the delay before you can start working with him, though).

And I'm really glad to hear you'll be heading back to the AA meeting! I really encourage you strongly to set up a full schedule of AA meetings right away and get to them on a daily basis, especially now in early sobriety. For me, it was SO much more uncomfortable at the beginning of my sobriety when I tried to stay sober on only about one meeting a week. When I decided to really jump into AA and made a commitment to myself to get to 90 meetings in 90 days, it really was amazing what a difference that made. I honestly don't think I would have been able to stay sober if I had not done that. Please give it a try. I have learned that there's just no point in trying to do this the hard way. It's better to make use of every bit of help that is available.



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Oh wow GG, ... it's so good to hear that things are going so good for you this early in recovery ... and I too, am grateful to hear that your sleep problems may be gettin' better ...

Just remember, no matter how bad a problem is that you may be facing, or if one blind-sides you, there's never a problem we face that a drink or drug won't make worse ... and it's usually x10 worse if we drink ... ... ...


Love you and God Bless,
Pappy



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Hi GG, good to hear from you.....
As a "mother hen" I feel the need to share my experience with you.....

I had a male therapist. He was very nice and I thought we connected right away. In fact--too connected. I started to develop a crush on him. When I shared this with him instead of referring me to someone else, he played on it....complimented me more (he was already telling me how "gorgeous" I was). Our sessions were filled with him asking me things which made me think he also was "falling in love" with me...wanted to know my favorite stores, foods, wanted to know what I got for XMas, when I expressed an interest in art, he talked on and on about this artist he likes. This went on for months and months. I would spend an hour and a half getting ready for each apptmt. My therapy sessions with him became "dates". I became so obsessed with this man, songs on the radio made me think about him. I was incredibly preoccupied with thoughts of him and dreams of being with him one day. He openly flirted with me during our sessions and told me he was attracted to me and anyone would be a fool not to be. After being off cigarettes for over 20 years, I started smoking again....then I started drinking before each apptmt to feel more relaxed around him. I was a mess. I was dealing with guilt and shame because I was married. I kept bringing up my feelings for him during our meetings and he would grin and want to hear more. My mental state was becoming worse than it was before I met him. I eventually wrote him a letter telling him I was going to have to stop our sessions. He called me and wished me well. Three years later I received a Facebook invitation from him. We went to coffee and started exchanging emails. They became sexual in nature. I had to end our relationship again.

-------
I tell you this because early in sobriety we are very vulnerable. I was vulnerable and this man abused his position to take advantage of my vulnerability. I learned from researching on my own about transference. It is extremely common in therapy. It can happen with therapists who one doesn't even consider attractive. It can mess us up so much and some people never recover. You may want to research it on your own if you find yourself becoming attracted. Hopefully, this will never happen to you as it did me. I blame not the man (had to get over blaming people) but this situation with him that sent me on a roller coaster ride of confusion, heavier drinking, messing around on my husband and the eventual end of my marriage. I have never shared this part of my life on any board, however, felt a strong need to today. And I hope you don't mind and the moderators of this forum don't mind me taking this opportunity to inform you of this. I said a prayer before doing so. I certainly do not want to share anything which will do more harm than good.

Congrats on your sobriety!! You have worked really hard and I pray you have continued Blessings and sobriety.

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No worries, hopefulone on broaching the topic.  I'm very eyes wide open on transference as I have degrees in psychology (you can all have an ironic giggle over that.  it's ok. LoL  Kind of always saw myself on the other side of the "couch" before I fell into a bottle) and I, too, have studied it in various capacities.

 That said, I'm well aware that if I do start to feel attached in any of the wrong ways it'll be time to part ways.  I'm very sorry that you were taken advantage of like that.  It always makes me sad to think that there are people who can see someone hurting and twist them around even more than they already are. 

And I feel very honored that you shared your experience here, with myself and all the rest reading.  *hugs*  You're very brave.  Bless you.



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Good going, GG. You're doing fine. Going to an AA meeting is the next right thing to do.

And don't worry about 90 meetings in 90 days. That's a somewhat unobtainable goal for newcomers, depending on their circumstances (work, children, transportation, health, local meeting availability, etc.).

Taking on a goal of 90 meetings in 90 days might be good for some people but it can also result in a sense of failure if it cannot be attained. 

I know that in my first 90 days I felt kind of bad that I was not going to be able to make 90 meetings. I felt bad for nothing. I came to realize the the important thing was to go to as many meetings as I could and to make an honest commitment to sobriety.

Don't worry about 90 days. Worry about 1 day--today.



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Agreed. the point is to make a new habit of getting to as many meetings as possible. If that ends up being something like 72 meetings in 90 days, it's still going to give you MUCH better results, a more comfortable experience in early recovery, and probably much better chances of staying sober than only going to one meeting a week.



-- Edited by davep12and12 on Tuesday 22nd of September 2015 08:30:13 PM

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Just got back from my latest meeting.  Good news!  It went so much better than last week.  I still haven't talked, but I met a bunch of new people, some regulars, some newbies like myself.  I was also given several numbers with assurances that I can call or text if I get into a bind.  I got my first chip and felt really good when everyone was clapping and cheering, even though I "only" have nine days. :)  And I took the size label off my pants this time! LoL

 

One question...and forgive me if this seems cynical...but...the anonymous part of AA is taken very seriously, right?  Because I met, like, six people who knew me and/or my manager or place of work (none of my coworkers know I'm in AA).  I can't help but feel really nervous about that. :\



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Nine days isn't an "only"....its a "HUGE"!!!!!!!!!
You are doing great!

The people in your meetings are not supposed to tell anyone who they see....at all when they are there. The best thing to do if you are uncomfortable being around that many people who know you, and especially know where you work and who you work with, is to find another meeting place. You may have to go a longer distance to get there, however, if it will make you more comfortable, it will be worth the extra time to get there.

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Sounds like you had a supportive meeting. That's a lot of what AA is about.

Anonymity is an important concept in AA. You cannot say who you saw. And others cannot say they saw you.

Anonymity is indeed taken very seriously. It is very serious for most, but not all members of AA.

The AA penalty for violations of anonymity is ...nothing.

 



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Thanks for everything.  Peace and Love on your journey.  



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Congrats, greygirl!

Regarding the anonymity, that works two ways:

1) We ought not reveal our OWN involvement with AA at the public level, by making public statements to the press, etc. This helps keep our egos in check and helps protect AA from perhaps well-meaning but misguided actions by its members. 

2) We ought not reveal SOMEONE ELSES involvement in AA to anyone at any level, public or otherwise, or repeat things that someone else said in a meeting to others outside of the meetings. This is of course to assure that we all can feel safe in meetings and feel confident that others will treat the things we say in meetings with respect and won't use them as fodder for gossip. 

And it's a good idea to keep in mind that some people in meetings may not have the best track record of respecting these traditions (some of those people are not perfectly well balanced and mature individuals. I hear that they may have had a drinking problem at one time!). So when you need to talk about something REALLY private and sensitive and need to be sure that it won't get repeated outside the meetings, it's best to have a good AA sponsor that you can trust and take those things to that person, and perhaps someone like a therapist or counselor that you feel you can trust, and discuss those issues one-on-one rather than sharing absolutely everything at the group level. I hope this helps, and congrats again!



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Thanks guys!  At this point, I guess if someone who knows me is going to say something there's nothing I can do.  I'm giving it up to the universe.  *shrug*

 

And omg Dave, you made me spit out my drink! I'm still laughing.  LoL



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And by drink I mean water haha



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smile



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GreyGirl wrote:

Just got back from my latest meeting.  Good news!  It went so much better than last week.  I still haven't talked, but I met a bunch of new people, some regulars, some newbies like myself.  I was also given several numbers with assurances that I can call or text if I get into a bind.  I got my first chip and felt really good when everyone was clapping and cheering, even though I "only" have nine days. :)  And I took the size label off my pants this time! LoL

 

One question...and forgive me if this seems cynical...but...the anonymous part of AA is taken very seriously, right?  Because I met, like, six people who knew me and/or my manager or place of work (none of my coworkers know I'm in AA).  I can't help but feel really nervous about that. :\


 Wow, this is fantastic GG, ... getting your first chip IS a huge step ... and the rest of us are always thrilled to witness a new-comer commit to trying to make their lives better ... And another hint here is if you get squirrely , just pop that chip in your mouth and when it dissolves, then you can have a drink, LOL ... (at least it'll make you think twice or more about it, huh?) ...

Anonymity??? ... I've learned that this is a 'personal' choice for most folks, but our traditions state that it should be one of the things we really focus on ... above all, we should honor someone else's anonymity way above our own ... Our Traditions state:

Eleven--Our public relations policy is based upon attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
Twelve--Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
Try not be disappointed if someone breaks your anonymity, but don't go around telling others 'I saw 'so-n-so' at an AA meeting ...' ... we need to 'respect' why others are there ... I think most of the time this is never an issue, but, sometimes you'll come across a person that is a real 'gossip' and you can't stop them from spreading your involvement in AA ... 
As you gain time in AA, this usually becomes less and less of a concern, cause you'll become more focused on helping others ... 
Love ya and God Bless,
Pappy


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