Alcoholics Anonymous
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Show Me an Easier Softer Way To Stay Sober and I'll Try It


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 449
Date:
Show Me an Easier Softer Way To Stay Sober and I'll Try It
Permalink  
 


OK....the two videos--which I suspect are the same video-- were not removed from this site by the owner/a moderator as of yet. Okay. I get it...everyone has a right to have their own opinion...free speech. Well then, so do I and this post should not be removed either.

I am in AA to not only save my own life, I'm in it to help others. That's what we do. We get sober to help others stay sober. Not long after I finally, after many failed attempts, got sober I had someone I met on this board contact me who wasn't receptive to AA. He tried to convince me I could stay sober on my own. He was doing it, so could I. That was good for him. He went on and on in his messages about the negative aspects of AA. I never once berated his way and tried to convince him otherwise. I didn't have the time nor the inclination to do so. I was concerned more about my own sobriety and the method that is working for me. I don't have the need to berate "Sober Recovery" or any of the other methods of staying sober that are working for other folks. Why should I? If others have found a way to stay sober that is working for them that is their business and a great thing. Why bash my way of staying sober?

The internet is filled with these AA bashing info and videos. Why so much? If you read through some of them you will see similar tones ....."I was in and out of AA for 20 years....", "I was a member of AA for several years...", "I tried AA and it didn't work for me....." then continue reading and out comes the wreaking ball. Damaging information of all the harm AA did to this person. It is much like a breakup when a brokenhearted lover is left high and dry (no pun intended) by a lover. That person in their pain and anger of the relationship not working out for them, goes on a mission to ruin the reputation of the person who has "wronged" him or her. I had a friend who told me all kinds of nasty things about a man she had dated. He did this, he did that. Not one time did she even slightly suggest that she did anything in the relationship that caused the demise of it. It was all "his fault".  That is much like these folks who create this AA bashing stuff. They feel like they wasted their time in AA. They feel let down that after attending meetings and "working the program" why did they still go out and  drink? It couldn't be anything they did! It must be AA! It's flawed.

Sure it is! Nothing is perfect. Not even AA. Just like we as human beings are not perfect. We are flawed.

I admit. I tried AA a few times and couldn't stick it out earlier. I wanted to drink. I didn't want to do those "stupid" Steps. I hated homework as a kid, and sure didn't want to do homework as an adult. There is another reason it didn't work....I didn't want to stop drinking. See? That wasn't so hard....."I". (Notice no "A's" are in there.)

Now I know AA is not for everyone. I haven't been sober all that long a period of time myself to know if it is going to work for the rest of my life with me. It's working NOW. I've thought about drinking and posted on here I have. Is it because AA doesn't work? Not at all. It is because there is something going on with me that is creating that in my head. I gotta tell you I really don't relish having to go to meetings every time I have a rough day. There are some days I want to be by myself and when one of those dark spells hits, I have to drag my ass into a meeting anyway. If I don't I may end up drinking. I also know the fellowship and the message I hear in the meetings isn't enough to keep me sober. I have to be willing to continue to do daily work to stay sober. I haven't been doing that. I've felt pretty shitty some days and it is easier for me to feel sorry for myself about the things which are not going the way I think I deserve and want them to be going and I just have chosen to wallow in my own crap longer.

I have to say that staying sober requires A LOT of work. And there are so many who are not willing to do the work which is required. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. If someone can prove to me another way to stay sober and show me that it has a 100% success rate, please let me know. I would love to have an easier way to do all this and save some time. Otherwise, I am not interested in watching your videos showing bloody corpses on a vehicle which blame AA for the death of that supposed "drunk driving incident" or an image of a baby with a beer can up to its mouth. That's absurd! Any reason at all that people drink is because they choose to drink. I have yet to attend an AA meeting where there is an open bar.

And it is not because AA didn't work and got someone drunk again. That's absurd, too! It is the person in AA that didn't want to do the work required to stay sober.

I apologize in advance if anyone is offended by this. I have been very concerned that someone who is seeking help for their alcoholism has come to this site, seen those video links and decided against going to an AA meeting. That would be tragic... I give credit to this site for helping save my life. I am not sure if I had watched that video when I was still drinking if I would be sober today. I may even be dead.

 



__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 123
Date:
Permalink  
 

I chose not to watch the video because I knew it would annoy me and I know there are trollish types out there and what they do. They live off getting an upset reaction from people. Kind of like someone that would spray paint a swastika on a synagogue and then hang back in the bushes and watch people's reaction. Shrug. I guess AA peed in their cereal.

I recently read responses to some facebook meme about gay marriage and someone responded how awful it was for gay people to be defending their disgusting and depraved way of life. Um...ok. Straight up haterism for no reason whatsoever. It makes me sad that this is part of human nature. I start arguing and then I feel angry and upset. I probably will never get my points across and the person has a bigoted view point anyhow. So now, I KNOW I need to turn away from crap that annoys me and simply not read it and/or not respond. I need to say a prayer for me to do good in the world despite ugliness out there. I need to stay sober and deal with me.

__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 449
Date:
Permalink  
 

There is still so much ignorance in the world. It is unfortunate. I have no problem with gay folks. I have quite a few gay friends and was so happy when the same sex marriage laws were changed. Intolerance and even hate is everywhere, unfortunately.

The posting didn't match the video (not the cobra one--cannot remember what that was other than the video). I thought it was going to be something in support of AA by what the OP shared.

I am not mad about it anymore. I didn't post this out of anger. I am sad about it. I did my daily inventory that day. I felt moved to post it (damage control?) much like people are doing when they see a potential candidate who has a lot of influence and realize that our country's welfare is at stake if that person gets elected. Do I sit idly by and say "that doesn't concern me? I don't want to get upset about it so I won't watch him (or her) on the news?"

You and me--we are not wavered by that video as far as our sobriety goes, peecee. We're okay. I am concerned, like I said, about the still sick and suffering. The vulnerable ones who are looking for any excuse to continue drinking and that video may be all that they need to do so. I wonder of all the people who think "what the hell, I was going to try AA and it doesn't look like that works so I'll just keep drinking." Sure they are the ones making that decision. I'm still sad for them. That video is thousands of times more harmful than it is helpful.

And this site uses "AA" in its name. Pretty confusing to newbies to come here and see such negative videos about AA.

__________________


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 477
Date:
Permalink  
 

I watched about half of it, fast forwarded to the end, to see if maybe there was some kind of surprise ending. Then I just laughed it off. You shouldnt let stuff like that bother you. It's a part of life. Some people don't like chocolate ice cream. So they don't eat it. Some people dislike it so much, they feel they have to let everyone know how bad it is. These kind of people probably don't have a whole lot going on in their life that is worth a shit. so they look for controversy. Probably one of those types that doesn't have any friends, bored out of their mind, and need attention. Any kind of attention for some people is better than no attention at all. I guess we're giving them all this much needed attention by talking about their dumb little video. 

That stuff doesn't bother me. I think it's kind of funny.

 



__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.