MALE AND WOMEN WORKING TOGETHER

onedayatatimebaby · Member

MALE AND WOMEN WORKING TOGETHER

onedayatatimebaby · Member

TRUE

hopefulone · Senior Member

Hi onedayatatimebaby,
I work with a male. There are some cases where it is considered "safe" to do so. Sounds like you may be one of them. I do not have everything in the BB memorized so I cannot "show" you where it states anything pertaining to that in there. I do know that AA has literature about it. It is in one of their pamphlets about sponsorship and it does have that it is alright in some incidences.

I would think if you really want to sponsor a particular woman and there is no attraction between the two of you, it is up to you both to make those choices. It sounds like you have been a part of AA long enough to know the reasons why it is discouraged already. I have never met a woman in AA so far who I feel comfortable asking to sponsor me. I have looked and listened. The few women I have tried to get close to are either gossipy, badmouth others and AA, and have other issues. There are other women I am sure who are stronger in their sobriety I am sure. Just have not come across any I prefer better than my own sponsor. Also I have always had better relationships as friends with males than women.

I have had quite a few folks tell me I should not/could not/absolutely cannot work with a member of the opposite sex. Although I appreciate their concern, I am really the one to make that decision. If God gives me a sign it is time to change then I will or if I get "let go" by my sponsor before that time. He has helped save my life, so until one of those two things happen I am not going to let what other people say make that decision for me.

Zoomtopz · MIP Old Timer

somebody has already said it . I will leave mine for "th bottom line"

I was friends with most of the 20 other people in the Detox unit with me .

It was "usually" a seven day stay , with saturated AA meetings .

Two women were in my "closer friends" then & in early sobriety.

But one of them . A lesbian women . We Helped each other immensely .

We did our 5th step together , it seemed to "naturally come about" that way.

We were NON judgemental of each other , because we were in "th same boat"

after the shipwreck of our life . MOST of us understand that because we are/were IN

that same boat . I can ALSO tell you . IT IS Very much like that in the "Real thing".

YES , nearly 50yrs ago . I am a "shipwreck survivor" off Vietnam . Seventy four MEN

perished & Hundreds Still suffer to this day , not only from the injuries they suffered .

How do I fit into that . I was on the ship that collided with it & it sank . I was awarded a

medal for bravery . To this day I still don't know the men I rescued . Yes I have wondered

what they did with their life afterward . BUT , to a man , none of those survivors have blamed

us for sinking their ship . They were grateful to be Rescued . AND Still are Today .

The other lady was an American , a United Airlines flight attendant . Relapsed in Japan , after

8yrs sobriety . Her in an Aussie hospital , using a heap of "Yank terms" , I heard two of the nurses

talking about her . I said , is she a Yank . Yes . Ah , she means . Oh . You see . EVERY new patient ,

got a Vitamin B shot , later when asked how she was , Suzi , replied that her fanny hurt & a few

other things , you see it is Different here . A woman's fanny is the front bit . so how could getting

a vitamin B shot in th butt , cause pain in th front bit . Misunderstandings . Anyway I helped

translate , because of being around Yank sailors & Marines in Sydney on R & R leave during Nam.

it's like - boy & boo ee = buoy.

I was to hear from several women in Sydney , about a popular member . Who wore "two hats"

He was doing 'more' than just counselling "fragile women" .

This man committed suicide , at his funeral . Detectives were asking AA members what his "suicide note"

may have meant , it simply read "Secrets kill"

oh th bottom line . motives

emmi331 · Veteran Member

I speak from sad experience - I asked a man who I thought was "safe" to work with me once. (My story is briefly posted elsewhere on these boards)....It ended disastrously, and it took me months to recover emotionally and physically from a situation that broke my heart and damn near broke my spirit. Thank God I did not pick up a drink over it. Ask occasional advice and be "room buddies" with someone of the opposite sex? Sure....but sponsorship? No, no, no, no. At least not for this lady.

-- Edited by emmi331 on Wednesday 9th of September 2015 02:08:21 PM