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tired of drinking
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Just joined AA. Tired of drinking every day.  I am 55 years old and have been drinking every day since I was 21.  I Had a horrible upbringing, 9 kids growing up in a 3 room house very poor and super abusive father and uninvolved cold mother.  I am one of those guys who always shows up for work early, but hides how much I actually drink. I love to host parties at my house, and drink 4 to 5 drinks before anyone shows up.  I drink 10 to 12 drinks per night, every night.  I dont know how my body has held up for this long.  I would probably be shocked if I was shown what my insides look like.  I want to stop drinking completely.  I have hinted to different friends that I dont like how much I drink and they always say, I have never seen you drunk, mean, stupid, beligerent etc. etc.  I really need some help!  I am tired of hiding what I really am.  I am an alcoholic.



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MIP Old Timer

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Hey, welcome! I've been sober & in AA for quite a while now and sobriety is the best thing that has ever happened to me. 

So how has your experience with AA been so far? Been to many meetings? Got any questions about all this?  



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MIP Old Timer

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G'day Joe.

                Welcome to MiP.

Joe 29yrs ago , in 11days . My Higher Power , Through You guys GAVE Me

a brand NEW Life . I Love that New Sober life & Live it to the Fullest Every Day.

I got told Joe , to "keep this simple , don't pick up the first drink & come to AA meetings"

I did Joe & still attend Regular meetings to SHOW My Gratitude.

Please stay with us Joe . These Promises CAN Work for you too.



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Rick.

@ 37 I was too young & good looking to be an alkie.

still too young , still got th good looks. still n alkie.



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Welcome and it is great that you are in AA and wanting to change your life. Keep coming to the meetings and work the program as outlined in the Big Book as best as you can. That's the way to change it!

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I have no support whatsoever.  I moved away from my hometown several years ago to live in my wifes tiny  urban hometown and hard to fit in because I am not a farmboy.  My wife doesn t even know how much I drink because she works nights and I have always worked days.  Most of the guys i know are alchos just like me.  Don t know what to do on my own and that is why I need help.



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MIP Old Timer

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Can you clarify what you meant when you said you "just joined AA"? Have you been to some AA meetings yet?

Or did you mean something like you have made a personal decision to think of yourself as someone who has alcoholism and needs to do something about it, but you haven't taken the step to go to an AA meeting yet?

Just want to understand where you are at so I have a better chance of offering some help that might be useful.



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I grew up in a very small town and they have one meeting there a week, so look up aa.org for meetings in your area. Even if you have to drive a little distance to it, it is worth it to save your life. You want support for quitting drinking? Believe me, you'll get it. I think it is important to discuss with your wife that you realize you have a problem and want to get off of it so that she will support you. If she is a drinker herself, that is going to make it harder on you to stop, no doubt. Got friends who drink, also tough. I had to stop hanging out with drinkers. My life depended on it.

Get a sponsor asap and start working the Steps with them. Pray to yourself (if you don't believe in God, that is fine, just pray) to relieve you of the bondage of alcohol. I prayed for help just to keep me off of it, one day at a time. Then after I got a day under my belt, I gave thanks for that day I was able to stay sober and again, please help me stay sober "today". It was not nearly as overwhelming to do one day at a time rather than, ok I gotta do this the rest of my life?!!!!

You can do it. You have to make staying sober your #1 Priority. You already admitted you have a problem. That's how we all have to start to see a change in our lives for the better and not being reliant on alcohol to get us through the day. You know, if someone would have told me that one day I would get off alcohol, I would have laughed (or cried) in their face. I never thought I could do it. With God's and AA's help, I did it. You can too. I am the same age as you and had some bad stuff happen to me when I was younger too. Then later on, more crap. One thing we have to learn in AA is how to deal with reality without picking up a drink. That stuff from the past, we cannot undo. The stuff going on now which is bad, that's life and we cannot stop life from happening. We just know that if we drink over the past and over the present, as well as over the future, it is only going to make things worse and give us more (in our sick alcoholic minds) to drink over. It is a vicious cycle and the only way we can stop it is to get into recovery to stop the drinking and stop the madness.

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Everything hopefulone just said is true. Every part of it, so, I'm not gonna repeat it, just read it again. 

Im like you, Rockman. I'm a little younger, 48, but we've been drinking the same amount of time. I started when I was 14. I'm also like you in that I live in a strange town, because I travel a lot, I'm never in 1 place for a long enough time to make any real close friends. It's a cruel and lonely fricken world, Rockman.

But I quit last year. And it's the best thing I've ever done. Ever. I thought I'd miss the socialization, the "fun" times, but I dont. Because they weren't so fun when I think about it. It's not fun poisoning yer body every day, and having to drink the next day just to feel better. It sucks. And I, like you, I was sick and tired of it. Unhappy. Feeling sick all the time. Delusional. Always waking up the next day with some kind of cut or bruise, or black eye. From being drunk.

I tried to quit many times. I followed this forum almost every day for 5 years, always thinking "man, I've gotta quit this shit". 

Last year, a very close friend of mine committed suicide. And it was because of his drinking. After I got that phone call, I said to myself: "that's it...I'm done. I don't want to end up like my friend. And I'm tired of this drinking cycle. It's ruining my life". 

The next day, I didn't drink. And I felt like shit. And I felt like shit for about a week. But after that, every day got better and better. And after a few months, my mind started clearing up. I was in a fricken fog, man. 

I started going to meetings. I was a little nervous the first day I went. But you know what? These people are just like you and me. They were sick and tired of being sick and tired. And they were really cool. After my 1st meeting, I felt totally comfortable with everybody. These people want to help you to stay off the booze, because they know how much it sucks to be a drunk. They know first hand. They ain't like no rehab counselor who went to school, never really had a drinking problem, and get paid to be a counselor. They're just like me and you, Rockman. 

You should go to a meeting, Rockman. You'll make some good friends there. And when you go, you need to go with a sense of elation. Elation that you're finally getting rid of this stupid problem. You can't have the mentality of "oh man, I'm quitting something that is so enjoyable, and tastes so good, and brings me so much happiness". Cause it doesn't. You need to think "I'm quitting something that's a fricken pain in my ass, causes me grief and problems, and makes me feel like shit." Not to mention it's killing you, too. So, go, my friend. And be happy. You're not losing anything at all by quitting drinking. You're gaining a whole new life. 

One more thing, Rockman. No bullshittin you, my life is so much way fricken better without that shit. I never thought in a million years I would say that, but it's true. I was the biggest party animal in the world, my whole life was a party. But the party ended when I became a full-blown alcoholic. And the party I go to now, the Party of Life, is way better.



-- Edited by Baba Louie on Friday 31st of July 2015 12:41:15 AM

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MIP Old Timer

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When I stopped drinking I came to the realization that there was no law that said I had to yet I was raised in a large family of alcoholics and we always drank because we could and it was always there.  I was the color of urine when I stopped and that wasn't the reason I did.  I just found out there was no law I had to drink and drink the way I did.  Strange...I walked out of one life and into the life of another...recovery.  You're not alone you have large MIP membership...we're family.  Most of us are also AA fellows who got sober in and with the program and it's fellowship.  It never occurred to me to regret stopping even though it almost took my life.  Welcome...stick around, read, learn and follow the suggestions which are coming up.   smile



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MIP Old Timer

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Welcome. Get to AA meetings. Don't think it. Just attend and see how things start to change.

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But for the grace of God.


MIP Old Timer

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Welcome R - keep coming back. Xxxxhugsxxx

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Thanks for everything.  Peace and Love on your journey.  



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Thanks to everyone who replied. I have not been to a meeting yet, but I plan on going next week. I will also stay on these M I P meetingss. I am glad I am finally going to do something about this horrible habit .

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If you are anything like me--the sooner the better about the meetings because when I gave myself any time at all, I had to get "a" drink to "think" it over.

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MIP Old Timer

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rockman q wrote:

Thanks to everyone who replied. I have not been to a meeting yet, but I plan on going next week. I will also stay on these M I P meetingss. I am glad I am finally going to do something about this horrible habit .


 That's great, RQ.

You can also consider online AA meetings, too. Here is one place for those:

http://aaonline.net/

4 AA meetings a day. 

Welcome to this forum. We don't have AA meetings here anymore. But we do have discussion about recovery from alcoholism, mostly AA.

Best wishes to ya.



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First, deal with the things that might kill you.

 



MIP Old Timer

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rockman q wrote:

Thanks to everyone who replied. I have not been to a meeting yet, but I plan on going next week. I will also stay on these M I P meetingss. I am glad I am finally going to do something about this horrible habit .


 

Any reason you should wait that long? Why not look up the info on the nearest meeting and go as soon as possible, like tonight?

That little voice in our heads that tells us things like 'I should wait.... I'll "plan" on going next week... that would be better than going now...."  that is the voice of alcoholism. It is lying to you.

If you were floating in the ocean after your ship sank and a life boat was right next to you, would you think "I'll 'plan' to get into that life boat, but not right now..."?  



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I just noticed something...I talk too much.



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