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Post Info TOPIC: Reality bites


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Reality bites
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Life is full of surprises and those surprises seem to happen when everything's going well and according to plan.  I guess HP has His own plans, so I'm doing my best to hang on for the ride.  Mom got bad news from the doc, skin cancer...don't know how involved it is yet, they're just getting started in helping her.  She's been having a lot of anxiety.  There arent adequate medical services out here in the boonies.  I'm also having physical things go wrong and I'm chicken to get things checked but my excuse is that the VA is so from here I'm not comfortable to leave mom alone for that many hours.  Lots of thinking, talking and praying...and I've come up with a new plan... I can't say I'm excited about it but in my heart, I know its the right thing to do.  

I have an interested buyer for the cabin, by almost finishing the inside the value has increased.  I've been researching homes for sale in the city, the real city- tons of traffic, people, sirens...all the crap I came out here to get away from...but I do believe its for the best where Mom is concerned.  Doctors for both of us are available and she will feel more secure.  I'll miss this place like crazy (wild animals, nature and zero neighbors) and though its a little sad to leave, sadness is replaced by security of knowing this is the right step to make.  If things turn out in favor of coming back up this rock someday, I'll be back.  I'm hoping for that and that's the plan.  I was lucky enough to live my dream all this time and am thankful for each and every day here.  The important thing is getting mom what she needs so she can put her fears aside.  We learned today that Denver isn't the only Mile High City, the cabin sits 1,100 feet higher than Denver, the sun intensifies through the windows and skin cancer is common in this area.  There is a house I'll look at tomorrow and remember to keep the attitude of looking for what's right about it instead of what's wrong.  I'll still finish the cabin project because the value increases greatly.  I think I'll put my next cabin in the boonies but at a lower altitude.  I can tolerate the city knowing its temporary.  I guess what gets me most is living here in the wild is the only place I've felt relaxed and chilled since I came home from the desert.  I don't want to go back to feeling all wound up and edgy again.  Wilderness living is in my soul.   My plan for the edgy times is doing home improvement projects.  There are meetings every day and I plan to attend more than once a week.  

I refuse to give in to drinking/depression.  I'll look beyond my old way of thinking.  Just going with the flow and hanging on tight!  I'll still have access to the internet, my phone is how I access it now and that won't change...but I'm gonna be busy as hell for the next few weeks.   Best wishes too all,

Jerricka



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Senior Member

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Thank you for your post. It is great that you are choosing to find the positive things about your decision. I hope that everything goes alright and that you and your mom's physical conditions will improve. Your mom is very fortunate to have such a loving and caring daughter standing by her. I too may be faced with moving so that I can take care of my mom, should she need me. In this day and age where so many kids have nothing much at all to do with their parents, (like my two siblings). It is very sad to think about them and my mom missing out on sharing life experiences. It is refreshing to know that some of us do have enough love in our hearts to do the right thing by spending as much time as possible with parents while they are here and being there should they need us. When I was drinking, I used to think there was no way I could help my mom if she needed me. That would interfere too much with my drinking and since she strongly opposed of me living my life inside a bottle, it would never have worked. Plus, I would have made a lousy and dangerous caretaker. I couldn't even take care of myself. Now, I have peace in my mind and my heart about it and although I hope that she is able to be independent for the rest of her days, I will be there for her if need be......and I will be sober.

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MIP Old Timer

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Thanks Coogi, ... what a great post of 'positive think'n' ... You and your mom will continue to be in my prayers ... I survived malignant melanoma in my late forties ... mine was operable and successful ... I pray they've caught your mom's cancer early enough ...

I used to live in Denver ... I'd rather live secluded in the mountains ... anyway, sounds like you're do'n the right thing ... more power to you and thank God your mom has a daughter that cares ...


Love ya and God Bless,
Pappy



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



Newbie

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Many prayers for your Mom and you. Your love is transcendent. Im also in a place where it is difficult to get to meetings. You'll get so much out of them. Or maybe rather put so much into them that another needs. Ive seen meetings change when the right new person comes along and suddenly everyone is getting better. And doing the right thing by your Mom who must be so grateful in her heart that she can't even tell you. Truly, you are my hero today.

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