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Post Info TOPIC: This Life is a test


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This Life is a test
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Hello I hope everyone is doing well I wanted to share an interesting story that happened to me recently. 

I've been sober now for somewhere around 2 years, one of the main reasons I became sober was from the support from my wife, how she encouraged me to sober up. At first I found not drinking hard, then not drinking in social situation hard. Now I'd say over the past year its not even a thought in my brain, or its a thought that rarely passes through my mind. 

My wife left for two week on a long distance flight. Amazingly as soon as it was a week before she was leaving out of nowhere, my mind kept obsessing about the idea of drinking, about what I would buy. I kept thinking that it is crazy because the thought of drinking really never passes through my mind normally. It got so much that I started dreaming about drinking every night, about how I would hide the empty and how I would dispose of them discreetly. Even in one dream my wife found out I was drinking when she was gone.

I was not going to let something like some thoughts wreck it for me, I was able to eventually put it out of my mind and do the right thing, which is not drink at all!

 

It feels like it was some sort of test because this is where it starts to get freaky!

 

Out of nowhere my phone rings a few days ago, its my old drinking buddy, my friend that we used to go out drinking and clubbing every night of the week, well he's still doing his thing and he finds out through our conversation that my wife is gone and we should go out partying. I have no idea how he could have picked this time to call, I don't post personal information of Facebook etc so there is really no way he could have known. But sure enough out of the blue he calls. 

I felt really great about my self quickly dodging his phone call and kind of setting him in his place. I just think its amazing that just when I thought to myself Alcoholic? I'm not an alcoholic I just don't drink, my alcoholic brain comes back to haunt me. Luckly I have a strong enough will power to fight off these daemons. 

Last night tucked in my bed last night I watch the Movie "Flight" with Denizal Washington, its on netflix. I put it on because I like the actor and I thought my wife is flying might be a cool movie. I highly suggest you watch it because it turns out to be about how Denizal is a alchololic and how it destroyed his life and wound up in jail. 

 

I just can't seem to think these series of events that unfolded these past two weeks where some how on purpose like it was some sort of test. 

this morning when I woke up I decided to call the hotline to see if I after 1 year of trying to get my licence back from medical suspension (for alcohol addiction), undergoing blood tests every 4 months, if there was any progress... it was approved and i'm getting my licence back...

 

Life can be funny. 



-- Edited by mandm on Saturday 24th of January 2015 03:10:07 PM

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"It's very important to go into the rooms of AA, smell the shitty coffee and be reminded that without sobriety, I would have no career." ~ Macklemore



MIP Old Timer

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Thanks for sharing that Mandm and thanks for stopping in ... have missed you ...

Yep, just when you think you got it all fig'rd out, smack right up side the head, and ya have to wonder, was that all a coincidence or what ??? ... life CAN be funny that way, but it can also be so very serious in just how we decide how to act in the moment ... had you followed through on your party adventure with your friend, there is no telling how your story would have ended ... as it turns out, you acted wisely ... good job ... good share ...

Don't be a stranger ... bounce in a little more often ...


love ya man and God Bless,
Pappy

 

P.S. ... I saw that movie a while back ... good movie I thought ... 



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



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Thanks Pappy, I stop in once and awhile, actually i come just to see if you posted something funny, your good at that.

I agree about how these small choices shape our lives, I'm enjoying this time alone right now away from my life its giving me a great time to reflect.

I think that movie is a great depiction of Alcoholism, some of the moments I was watching thinking now way hes going to drink act a certain way or lie, then I realized I've done all the similar things in my life.

Well except the coke :)

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"It's very important to go into the rooms of AA, smell the shitty coffee and be reminded that without sobriety, I would have no career." ~ Macklemore



MIP Old Timer

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Mandm...Yes for sure "this is a test...this is only a test".   I would like to hear responses from other MIP and AA members on this subject too because it is near and dear to my own recovery.   SURPRISE!!  my compulsive brain cheers as I stand there scratching my head asking What the Hell and Where the hell did that come from?   Subconscious recordings get to do play back with me without notifying me first.   I had a huge one the other night without thinking I took some codeine cough medicine because my wife and I have been floored by the virus and it has been kicking my ass...well I didn't pay attention and an hour later woke up in hallucinations like I had tried to do myself in.  I have good memory so the voices of my elder sponsors come back to me just as fast as the compulsions do..."The thought cannot get you drunk...only the drink".   If you didn't drink...you didn't drink...fear cannot force you to".   I have never lost the compulsion to drink even since entering recovery long ago  "just don't act on it" is what I was told.  Sometimes the compulsion seems to have a life of its own and then so do my memories...thoughts like "No thanks I've had enough" from a recovering brother who gave me a run down on one of his own tests.   Go to the meetings and listen to how others handle their compulsions and then when you need to...duplicate them.    smile



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MIP Old Timer

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Hey m... good to read ya xxx



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Thanks for everything.  Peace and Love on your journey.  

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