Hello and WELCOME TO MIP!

I can definitely identify as we also had our now 28 yr old(in 4 years recovery)doing all the same,A hard core Heroin addict. First and foremost do remember the 3 things these alternate programs teach us,we didn't cause it,we can't control it and we can't cure it. I am also a member of Nar-Anon, similar to Al-anon, but more explicit to drugs other than Alcohol .Our son put us into hock,ended in jails ,institutions ,deriliction and even medically died from a bad cut in his dope(Ana phalactic shock)and had to be revived.After we had to put him on the street in his worst shape(90lbs ,$200.00 per day jones)it was more devastating than my own more than 25 years of  active addiction..WE loved him enough to let him go....He later told us it was the best thing we ever did for him .Nar-anon put us with others just like ourselves and helped us to learn better skills of how not to enable.As a sufferer from my own addictions I knew many things but with your own child sometimes the lines get blurred.My own recovery was shaken during those 7 long years but I knew I must keep it on top of all things and trust in my(our Higher Power)The only suggestion I can make is to set guidelines (not too many) and be prepared to stick with them if they are violated otherwise they are meaningless.We all do things in our own way and own time,but support groups can help...You can GOOGLE a meeting place near you same as Al-anon.You also have an inside look at what addiction does so you will also wear both hats ,one as a daily recovering individuals and one dealing with a loved one on the down bound train..I will lift you up in prayer.Communication is key in these situations not only with your loved one but your spouse or other parental person involved.My wife and I had many nights crying and talking about how we could best handle the situation trusting in the God of our own understanding..Love the person,hate the illness .Pain shared can be pain lessened,,,,In support and prayer....

Thank you for the insight.  I know there are many that share our dilemma with children in crisis along with us.  Addiction is a shared trait.  The line between strictly Alcohol addiction and drug addiction has been blurred and the crossover is tremendous.  My own experience is that Alcohol is the gateway to other drugs (pain pills, coke, meth, etc).  But once I quit Alcohol the other urges went away, but I will say getting off pain pills is the worst thing I have ever had to go through.  With my situation, I have to make my own recovery first and foremost.  I can't control what my son is going to do.  I can talk to him, pray for him, and hope he can see from my experience the good, the bad, and the ugly.  In some of my darkest days he has even had to come to one of our small town watering holes and pick me up because nobody know where I was and once I answered my cell phone I was way to drunk to get home.  I hope his mother and I can get to a place where we both are together on the message we are giving him.  I think she expects me to FIX it but I can't.  I have used the Serenity Prayer a lot during this time.  And best of all I haven't drank or use any pills to hide from this situation.  Maybe I am beginning to see some of the promises.