Today is the student holiday. I remember 2 years ago when I've already was in A.A. that I was sure that I won't drink, because I thought that I know many things about this disease. You can guess what happened - I got drunk, and my collegues got me home. And today I am thinking about it. About the self-knowledge.
It didn't protect me then. It won't protect me now. It's all about actions. I've not been on meeting may be from a week or more. And I see how my disease is coming back. The depression comes back and the apathy. I don't have willingness to go to a meeting. I am scared and I am lazy. And my plans and control is coming back, too. I start doing small plans for myself, future, people around me. That control is killing me.
I hear ya...and I like meetings. There is no reason for me to be unwilling to go. Not sure about your experience at your local meetings. I'm in the process of stepping up my AA program once again. Can't rest on yesterday's sobriety.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Morn'n MOH, ... You have read the BB I take it??? ...
Remember the warning on page 85 ??? ... Our daily reprieve has a contingency !!! ...
"It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of Gods will into all of our activities. How can I best serve Thee-Thy will (not mine) be done. These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our will power along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will. Much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction from Him who has all knowledge and power. If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. To some extent we have become God-conscious. We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense. But we must go further and that means more action."
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
