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Post Info TOPIC: Kissing a person who's just had a drink when you're a recovering alcoholic?


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Kissing a person who's just had a drink when you're a recovering alcoholic?
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Hi there guys,

so I'm not actually an alcoholic myself, but I hope it's still ok for me to post here and that my question isn't completely inappropriate or ignorant, but I'm really curious. I just watched an episode of a TV series about a recovering alcoholic (sober some 6 months) and she kissed a guy who had just downed a glass of Scotch a couple of seconds earlier. Now I know that TV series aren't exactly accurate, but this got me wondering. Is it actually fine for a recovering alcoholic to kiss a person who's just had a drink? I'm a very enthusiastic hobby cook and I know from a family friend of ours who's been sober over two decades, that he can't even have cake with artificial rum aroma in it. Wouldn't kissing a person who's probably still got some remaining alcohol in their mouth be incredibly dangerous?

Again, I hope it's ok for me to post here and I hope I'm not offending anybody with my ignorance. Thank you in advance for any and all replies.

Best wishes

Andy



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MIP Old Timer

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Hi Andy, ...

Personally, I see no problem with non-alcoholics coming here to learn more about alcoholism ... just know that 'if you're not an alcoholic', then our discussions here may include such views and opinions that non-alkies simply will not comprehend or understand ... we are a strange lot, LOL ...

So, to answer your question ... ... ... No, ... a recovering alkie will generally recoil from the odor or smell of alcohol ... (AA Big Book pg. 84 sez : And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. )(This is after working the steps) ...

Answer to question #2, ... yes ... Typically, we shy away from persons exhibiting an odor of alcohol ... unless it is to help such a person to sober up ... but to invite a kiss from someone who's been drinking would be kin to playing Russian Roulette ... alcohol is a subtle foe ... and it will always try to get us to drink, anytime, any place ... and for us to drink is to die ...

If we are spiritually well grounded in living the AA way of life, we can be around alcohol without any problem if there is a good reason to be ... it's just that we do not willingly invite these situations for no reason ...

I hope this answers your questions ... if you wish to know more, feel free to ask ...


Take Care and God Bless,
Pappy



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MIP Old Timer

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Different people have different triggers. That was not a trigger for me - It was revolting. For some reason beer breath is way worse than the others in my experience.

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This hasn't been a problem for me. I know I'm the only one that's going to get me to drink plus I'm not kissing them to taste the alcohol. So reason and motivation do matter. If they wreak of beer Thats a turn off but I would not be with that person who drank like that anyhow so their would be no kiss. Different strokes for different folks. Some are strict zealots and won't even gargle with mouthwash having alcohol in it. Again this is not a issue for me I don't drink mouthwash never did and never would. Some Real alcoholics did. Only I am going to get myself drunk and that's the real issue. Also is it a threat to my sobriety. Last I checked it was not for some it is not so. Hope this helps it's a cunning powerful baffling disease. It's also important to understand it's not how much we drank but why and how we drank that takes more precedence.

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Personally, I would not kiss anyone except for my wife, and she's straight as an arrow. Even if I did, it would never be with an active alcoholic, period. It's still a bit confusing, though, whether I agree or not. I guess some things never change even though they should. The question I have is, why? Why would anyone put their sobriety in jeopardy? It doesn't make any real sense. For example; say I kissed someone other than my wife and this person just happened to be drinking, wouldn't that feel a tad bit awkward? Especially, when I'm in recovery. Maybe they're beyond a certain level of understanding, assuming they are, or maybe they're just plain foolish. Whatever the case, it is up to the person in question not me. In fact, who am I to judge. There is, however, a fact I can't ignore despite it's growing popularity, and it has to do with objectionable material and industry that promotes it. It's something we need to take a good look at. If television networks want to promote such garbage, then go right ahead. I have the option to turn the channel. It's our choice either way. 



-- Edited by Mr_David on Monday 3rd of November 2014 01:38:50 AM

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Mr.David


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People have all kinds of different values about sex and dating. Prior to being married....If I had been texting and calling a person and we met up and they were kinda drunk, I might still mess around anyhow. Also at about 2 years sober, I went back to some clubs and bars to meet people because it was better than doing all my dating online and as a gay person, gay bars are still sadly one of the best places to meet gay men. Anyhow, this is why I had that experience with having kissed people with alcohol on their breath.

I think even with most straight single guys in sobriety, as long as the girl isn't passed out drunk, if she looks good, they will still be all over it.

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Yes like she owes me money. Lol. I'll keep coming back but I am human.

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equals relapse lol


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