For 35years and 50days I had a label of BT Bill on my shirt. Now..... well maybe I'm on a gap year.
Being on a gap year means I get to go to loads of meetings, get to work with loads of others, get to talk with loads of alcoholics.
I can even smile and grin at the odd evangelist that saunters into a meeting to preach (so this guy used to be an alcoholic, but reading the bible non stop for fifteen days cured him... if he used to be an alkie but now isn't then he can drink safely thus has no need to stop drinking so therefore cannot have a desire to stop drinking.... is that logical enough for me to toechock his arse out the door next time he saunters in?)
OK, I've just seen on the news that another westerner has been murdered by Muslim fanatics....i am enraged and have a strong desire to see every non Muslim removed to safety while the rest of the Muslim population world wide are crammed into the desert and bombed to dust.
I don't feel I could say this out loud because it really is ridiculous. Of course there are many of religion of all kinds who are 'normal' just as there are fundamentalists in every religion....i'm not a Christian and I haven't found anyone else's concept of god to fit with me. I fear the growth of tolerance and favouritism towards Islamists, especially the tacit acceptance of Sharia law.
It minds of the brutality of Christianity in the way it subjugated those of other beliefs.... convert or die.
I do hope no one feels offended by this post, but if you do, you've taken offence, I haven't given it.
__________________
It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Oh I just love you to pieces Bill - especially where you remind me that if I have a problem with someone - I.Have.A.Problem They are not a problem - nor should they have to change or be the way I want them to make it all better for me. No - I have a problem, and I am responsible for how I handle it for my own sake - for HP's sake - in a HP's world that I will never understand - but feel in my heart.
I remembered what was said about tug of war. Drop the rope. The other guy then has to stop tugging or they fall on their ass.
What would happen if we resorted to kindness? It's hard to smack someone when they are offering empathy for the fact that you are feeling so much fear you're ready to punch.
This program offered me a path to taking a look at my fears - and then replacing them with faith. So for me - it's a personal choice - to have faith or not. In this way - I am free. When I have choices - I am free. Prior to this, I did not have choices - I had no perception or awareness of choices at all. I had to drink; run; hit; argue; be right etc etc etc. I had to just merely survive. I was in self bondage - obsessed with just surviving life.
Today I am free. I have choices. I no longer just survive - I thrive! I can make a choice, and am aware of the choice to drop the rope - walk away - let others live, and let myself live too. It is not my job to arrange the actors as I want them anymore. I can set that down and turn my face to the light of the spirit. I can let others be responsible for their choices too.
How can this apply in a world of war and death and fighting? Well - I am only have control over myself... my response - and my reactions and actions to things. I have a choice today - to detach with love, for myself - and for those who still haven't reached a bottom with whatever disturbs their peace, and offer them the dignity to get there so they too may seek a spiritual solution. I am grateful I got all the way down... I am grateful to those who let me... the greatest act of love there is: To let someone fall... let someone go... let them be in that HP's 'hands' - not mine.
My sister is deployed right now. It was her choice. Yesterday was her birthday. I was angry that she grew up in a home... rooted in a society that shaped her into a fighter... and that I couldn't hug her and tell her I am so glad she was born. It feels unfair - how volatile our species is - and how the people we love get sucked into the abyss of fear and hatred like suction with never ending power.
"There is one who has all power, that one is God, may you find him now." I suppose the antidote is always love... which makes my God - Love. A feeling and a power within me that I can choose this moment.
Much love to you dear one.
__________________
Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
