It's all about experience. I've learnt that I must try to identify in what is written in Big Book about the real alcoholic to see if there is necessary to take these Steps. This topic is provoked by other topic about alcoholism and drinking problem, so I decided to write some words about it.

So, let's start. It is necessary for me to use paragraphs from the Big Book. Identification is real needed, because I must know my condition and to know what to do about it.

It is written:

"Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. (I've always liked what alcohol does for me - the sense of ease and comfort - talking with people, dancing, smiling, communicating, of course the "genious ideas" that comes, the sense of power, but I didn't like that I got drunk, without memory of last night and all stupid and scary things that I do when I am drunk) The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false . To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one (I couldn't imagine how I will live without alcohol - I did everything with alcohol - going to work, going to university, studing, having boyfriends - sex). They are restless, irritable and discontented (untreated alcoholism with this condition how I should live without alcohol? I am dying in depression, restlessness, I am irritable, hating everyone, lonely, no one wants to be close to me, because there is option to kill someone, because of his/her mistakes that make), unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort (this is it the effect (which long ago disappear, but I hoped to comes back again)  the effect to get rid of this condition where I am restless, bored, depressed, irritable, discontented) which comes at once (comes at once, which means fast I need the effect fast, I need the miracle fast) by taking a few drinks - drinks which they see others taking with impunity (How many times Ive watched people drink, but not get drunk and Ive asked hundreds times how do they do it and they tell me that they drink 1-2 beers, after that 1-2 hours dont drink and after that continue, because they didn't want  to  get drunk, but I couldnt do it. I couldnt just take 1-2 beer and after that to stay calm and to stop drink, because of the allergy of my body). After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again.(When Ive woken and saw what Ive done, or that I am in place that I dont know, with people that I dont know, Ive just made firm resolution not to drink again, but in the same day I drank again)This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery." A.A. p. xxviii  4th ed. Entire psychic change is what I need to stay sober to live my life on spiritual basis, because my power was alcohol, my rest, the only thing Ive known that gave me a little peace (effect), no matter of consequences. The alcohol gave me spiritual experience. And lately I realized that. For normal people they, too have some effect by alcohol, but for alcoholics this effect is more like a spiritual experience. Dr. Jung says that our craving for alcohol is much more craving for spirituality, craving for God.

So the Big Book talks about drinkers:

Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it. They can take it or leave it alone. (Moderate drinkers are all that people that I couldnt understand why they can have just one drink, or at party (for example) dont drink at all. Ive always wonder how are they living without drinking or drinking a little. They can drink or nor drink and they cant have problems with this. I can take alcohol, but I cant leave it alone. My mother is mderate drinker. She drinks once or twice a year. She can drink one, but she doesnt like what alcohol does to her even from one drink and she just leave it).

Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair  him physically and mentally (This is interesting statement, because it means that his physical and mental impair is as a result of his drinking. And he can dies earlier, which isnt good). It may cause him to die a few years before his time. (But)If a sufficiently strong reason - ill health , falling in love (falling in love never stopped me to drink. Even I was promissing so many times to my loved ones that I will quit, I started to hide myself, hide liquor, lying, cheating, stealing money for alcohol and so on), change of environment (I am little 21 years, so I couldnt go in other town, but I had changed schools, companies, friends, even started to go to a church and it didnt helped), or the warning of a doctor (Ive tried this one. too doctors told me to stop drinking, policeman told me, inspector told me, psychiatrist told me, psycologist told me nothing helped)-becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention.

To the point:

But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink. (Allergy)

Here is a fellow who has been puzzling you, especially in his lack of control. He does absurd, incredible, tragic things while drinking.(Ive done so many things, that I was sorry for while drinking stealing, lying, cheating, sleeping with strangers and so on) He is a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He is seldom mildly intoxicated. He is always more or less insanely drunk. His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little. He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously anti-social. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept. He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish. He often possesses special abilities, skills, and aptitudes, and has a promising career ahead of him. He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself, and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees. He is the fellow who goes to bed so intoxicated he ought to sleep the clock around. Yet early next morning he searches madly for the bottle he misplace the night before. If he can afford it, he may have liquor concealed all over his house to be certain no one gets his entire supply away from him to throw down the wastepipe. As matters grow worse, he begins to use a combination of high-powered sedative and liquor to quiet his nerves so he can go to work. (Ive done it this a lot)Then comes the day when he simply cannot make it and gets drunk all over again. Perhaps he goes to a doctor who gives him morphine or some sedative with which to taper off. Then he begins to appear at hospitals and sanitariums.

One of the most powerful  things for me is this:

"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink."(No defense, no choice)A.A.p 24

No person likes to think they are bodily and mentally different from their fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could  drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday they will control and enjoy their drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many persue it into the gates of insanity or death. A.A. p. 30

And:

When you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely and, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.

This about drinking, but lets talk about life of alcoholic, when is not drinking:

We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldnt control our emotional natures, we were prey to misery and depression, we couldnt make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldnt seem to be of real help to other people p. 52

It really is fatal illness ...

I have written in my BB some things. - I have allery (my body is sick), I have mind obsession (my mind is sick), I am not normal and I can't never be normal, I have no choice in drinking, Something more than human power is needed for me to recover.