I have a question. It's a little hard to word though.
Can you think of any 'horrible' event or circumstance in your life, that hasn't set you on a road to a treasure that you would have gladly paid the price of that event?
For instance, active alcoholism. If you haven't been there, words are of no use. If you have, words are unnecessary. And yet, it led me to the program, the program led me to the steps, the steps led me to my HP. Finding my HP and enjoying the life I have now were worth the almost certainly mundane existence I would have had if I had never found alcohol. Alcohol is just a symptom of our disease. Before I found alcohol I was miserable and sober. Alcohol found the alcoholic that already existed and would have screwed up my life one way or the other anyway. But instead, I get a life second to none.
I can't think of a single one...nothing 'bad' has ever happened to me. I just needed perspective.
I couldn't agree with you more Angell. The things I've learned in this program still blow my mind. One time I quit drinking on my own...Only reason being an ultimatum from the ex wife. I found out that the natural state of the real alcoholic without alcohol is restless, irritable and discontent. That simply removing the alcohol didn't solve my problem. I made it 10 miserable months. Then I went back to drinking. Ultimatum or no ultimatum....I couldn't live like that.
I came to find out my problem was...I didn't have the power to live a life being happy and free without alcohol. I could stop....I just couldn't live with myself when I did. That ease and comfort only came from another drink. Until that stopped working. Then I was deep trouble no matter what I did.
They tell us in the book there is One that has all power-That one is God...May you find Him now! Well if He has all the power....I guess that didn't leave much for me did it? I went searching.....Fearlessly.
I never could have imagined that the price I had to pay would be worth the life I have now. But it was. Every painful minute of it. I just thank God it didn't kill me before I found the solution. I've seen too many that weren't so fortunate.
I remember reading this in rehab....I had been placed there by a brother of mine. He told me he couldn't take watching me kill myself anymore. I sure as hell couldn't have afforded it. I was flat ass broke....About to become homeless....And at the end of my rope.
Lack of Power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power? Well, that's exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem.
BB pg 45
I had to admit.....That thought had never crossed my mind before. I just thought I was a drunk.
There have been several 'horrible' events in my lifetime, but I don't expect they were any more 'horrible' than any other person here has been through .... but I do think the worst was admitting I was alcoholic, or maybe the detoxing times I went through, knowing I was killing myself and not caring if I did ...
Today I realize it was indeed a blessing in disguise ... though I thought it a curse at the time ... SO, I'm with you guys ... had I not had this disease, I may never have found, or returned, to my HP ... then I wouldn't have experienced the 'promises' made in our book ... then instead having purpose today that makes me supremely happy in this life, I may have found myself wandering about aimlessly with nowhere to go and all day to get there ... ... ...
And the BIG difference today ??? ... you got it Angell, 'Perspective' ... ... ... I see things so much differently than in the past ... (amazing what one can see when they're not blinded by alcohol)
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
We are blind to see how will we get through our problems so man tend to drink and escape on it but on reality it never solve anything. I forgot that there are alot of people that concern about me and God is there to lean on and help me get through my issues. I treasure the second life I have now, I appreciate my life more, I value the people around me and I trust God more. I'm very happy with my life.
Several years ago I was fit and full of vigor, and raced bicycles. Then a bad crash caused some minor brain damage. Though I am still alive, I no longer ride a bike. My social circle cyclists have faded away. I am now overweight and lack vigor. Have not yet seen any good perspective from it.
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"... unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of recovery." Dr. Silkworth. (Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Ed. p.xxix)
Several years ago I was fit and full of vigor, and raced bicycles. Then a bad crash caused some minor brain damage. Though I am still alive, I no longer ride a bike. My social circle cyclists have faded away. I am now overweight and lack vigor. Have not yet seen any good perspective from it.
Perhaps time will reveal something.
A couple of years ago now I fell ill. This March I was diagnosed. It is incurable, relatively untreatable, and it is designed to kill. This body is suppose to die from it. Yet, there is good that has come from it. Perhaps you have not completed your search for something positive.
"... unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of recovery." Dr. Silkworth. (Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Ed. p.xxix)
boy here s a doosy of a story for yah. i was walkin to the store to get a drink. i needed it so bad then, i had just got my money from this trick i had workin for. got like 50 bucks and i knew i could get through the day if i could just get that drink ya kno. well im walkin and this old lady falls in the road on the side of the street across from me. and man she starts yelling and crying that she cant get up. she had a walker and all and well i need a drink, i was cryin it was so bad. well we were on this turn in the road and no one else was there and shes still hollerin and all, but i needed a sip..man i couldnt help. and then the city bus cam through and ran her over....i think she died, i dint here her anymore after that. but i kept walking, people was gettin off the bus by then. man that was one of the best drinks, i need it so badly. like i said I was cryin for it. that drink was a treasure then, now its a curse. i dont know where the gems are, i need some help.
