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Post Info TOPIC: Sponsoring An Inmate


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Sponsoring An Inmate
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Does anyone have experience with sponsoring someone who is currently locked up?

I am praying and following my intuition, but as part of that I thought I would see if anyone else has had any experience and has any tips.

My question is specifically about working the steps with someone. 

 

Aj



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Good morning and welcome, Aj.
I don't have any experience with that. I am planning on participating in AA meetings held for inmates soon. I was told that I am not allowed to give inmates my phone number and address. I think that is very sad and don't understand why that is. Alcoholics in prisons have as much right to want and receive help from recovering alcoholics and I think this would hamper their progress because of those rules. Unless things are different in your area, or you are an inmate, it seems like it would be hard to communicate with someone with rules in place like that. I am not sure about emails being allowed and how effective that would be. Hopefully, someone else who has that kind of experience will post soon.
I think it is wonderful that you are wanting to help in that capacity.

BTY

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Why phone numbers and addresses aren't given out...

Well...A lot of those..on the inside are repeat offenders..and if was one of them?  and you gave me your phone number and address?

I could patiently wait till I was released

I could stalk your residence...wait till you weren't home..and rob yu blind..I could also steal your car....and cause you physical harm..if I wished to..

Re communicating  via letter and other questions? Everything is scensored...You can get all the info youll need from your institution chair..for your district :)

Hope that helps



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I guess I am a bit naive about people...
the stalking, robbing, assault stuff...that would be a shame to try and help someone and have any of that occur as a result of helping others. I don't know for sure, but I think the chances of that kind of thing happening would be minimal. You know, none of us really know who we are sitting beside in the rooms and I have heard shares where people said that they had homicidal thoughts---even in their sobriety at times. There is a person I befriended in AA who said he had thought of getting a sharp object and killing someone over a parking space. I am still friends with this person--however, I am very guarded around him. When he gets upset or angry sounding, I excuse myself and walk away. I haven't totally abandoned him because when I backed off from being around him, he told me his depression had worsened and he was having disturbing thoughts. I felt like he may be copping a resentment towards me and I would be injured. It is easier to be nice to people for me, than aloof. He has a sickness like I do and I am leaving it in God's hands to protect me. Anything can happen to any of us doing ordinary things like having a burger, going to a sports event or attending a class. The world has become a very scarey place to live and perhaps it has always been and I was too naive to notice.
It's very sad for me to have to tell someone behind bars, who is really trying to turn their life around and wants me to help them, that all I can do is share in a meeting, and beyond that, I am unavailable to them.


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Speaking from experience...

I did 2 different spans of time on the inside..many moons ago..

I went to AA meetings to help my parole..

I communicated with outside AA members to help my parole..

After hitting the street? getting sober and becoming involved in institution work..? I found out in a hurry why the rules are in place..

Minimal reocurrances..and repeat offenders? The percentage is high...Its so high its scary..

We remain anonymous...to protect ourselves..and those around us..

Im quite sure...that future endevours re institutional work? will be a real eye opener for you..

Onward!!



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Ps..To Serenity..

I have never seen an outside member do 12 step work with an inmate..steps 1 to 3..yes..but not 4 to 9

If its all listened to and censored...? There would be no way..that Im sharing my darkest secrets..:)

I HAVE SEEN...inmates that ARE SERIOUS about staying sober...get a fellow AA inmate to be a sponsor..

Our job is to carry the message....to the inside..through our experience strength and hope...That's about it..

If they are going to see the street again?

We can help by getting them in touch with an AA contact in their area...and help with a followup..

When I was released? 2 aa members met me at the gate...and we spent the day together..plus meetings..and they helped greatly with the transition on the outside..and continued to do so..

Wish you the best

 



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SerenityAJ wrote:

Does anyone have experience with sponsoring someone who is currently locked up?

I am praying and following my intuition, but as part of that I thought I would see if anyone else has had any experience and has any tips.

My question is specifically about working the steps with someone. 

 

Aj


 

  Welcome AJ:

  Tell me more about your sobriety.

In our area we need 2 yrs sober to go to the jails.

What does your sponsor say about your question?

 

All the best.

 

Bob R



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Your right Bob...Its 2 years in our area..and we are both in Area 86..

I failed to mention in this post that yes...I have sponsored many in institutions in this area..over a period of 20 years...re letter and face to face...prearranged aa visits..re one on one..and have helped put on meetings..and spoke at some..as an AA member...GSR..or DCM

And as I mentioned before...The steps discussed were only up to step 3...because of privacy concerns

Other then that? It was being there as an anonymous AA friend..and sharing experience strength and hope..plus the followup help upon release..



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betterthanyesterday52 wrote:

I guess I am a bit naive about people...
the stalking, robbing, assault stuff...that would be a shame to try and help someone and have any of that occur as a result of helping others.


Hi BTY, Keep in mind that there are lots of OTHER people in jail along with that person you might be helping, and there's no way to be sure that they won't get access to your personal information if you give it to someone in there. These types of rules often exist because something really bad happened. Not trying to scare you, I just want you to stay safe.



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Welcome to MIP SerenityAJ, ...

Sponsoring an inmate? ... ... ... Here was the 1st thing I thought of: ... RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

I feel there is a higher rate of those incarcerated that lack the capacity to be 'totally honest' than those of us in AA ... AND I think the 'motives' for them wanting to be a part of AA vary greatly, probably the least of which is to 'get and stay' sober ... ... ... so for me, I think the watchword here should be to proceed with CAUTION .. ... ... and never, ever, reveal any more than very basic info about yourself, and NO personal data at all ...  ... 

Those that are behind bars are fairly well protected, unless they committed some real deplorable acts of violence and other unimaginable crimes, especially against children or women ... So If they wish to pursue an AA style of living after getting out, then we can be there for them at that time ... I mean think about it, doing the 12 steps reveals every single thing about us, everything we've done ... and to some, were it not for the sponsor/sponsee confidentiality,  we could be behind bars ourselves, not to mention an inmate that may have committed crimes that he has not been 'tried' for  ... ... ... to which if they were revealed, they ... let's say raped a 13 y/o, then does a sponsor keep that private or go to the authorities ??? .... in rehab, a guy confessed to just such a crime, and by law, the rehab center was obliged to report it ...  these are the issues we must be prepared to face when working with those in prison or jail ... especially when sponsoring them ... (and they cannot work the program without revealing this information to another human being ...) ...

Just a thought, that's all ...

 

Love ya and God Bless,

Pappy 



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