I think I need a break from the board, and to look around at others. I really do not like the direction the forum is taking, and I guess I am just looking for less "color" and more standardized rules of engagement. I need a few weeks to move anyhow. If the threads and posts do not seem to hold to a moral standard, and it causes upset and disharmony in my life, why would I continue to go there just to prove a point? I am letting this go for a bit.
Thanks for everything.
Tom
-- Edited by turninggrey on Thursday 5th of September 2013 03:13:25 PM
__________________
"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
I think I need a break from the board, and to look around at others. I really do not like the direction the forum is taking, and I guess I am just looking for less "color" and more standardized rules of engagement. I need a few weeks to move anyhow. If the threads and posts do not seem to hold to a moral standard, and it causes upset and disharmony in my life, why would I continue to go there just to prove a point? I am letting this go for a bit.
Thanks for everything.
I think you're overreacting, Tom.
But, before you go, just what are the "standardized rules" and "moral standard" you seem to want? Are they written down anywhere?
Maybe we can just give you the moderator Power Button and you can, um, just wing it? Would that be OK?
Where I'm from being easily offended is not good at an AA meeting or chat. I remember all sorts of lack of decorum and rude people in the drinking days.
Of course being a good alike I can always find a way to get offended!
__________________
"I spent a lifetime in hell and it only took me twelve steps to get to heaven."
"Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you."
Tom WE do what WE do......I hope to see ya on the rebound...My good friend Lee took a leave of awhile ago and I also await her return...Good bless you and continue to bring you peace and serenity..There is always PM'S if you want to say hey. Thanks for help thru the years and your honest sharing..............Peace brother....
__________________
Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Tanin, if you search for forum rules, you'll see a copy of a set that I posted from another forum. Let me know if you can't find them. Most of these are common sense and most forums do not tolerate trollish behavior. Tipsy, If you're still here, I recommend assuming your more recent screen name and the attitude it portrays. This form is not your personal arcade to come into and play wac-a-mole when life is not going as you had planned.
A word or two should be sufficient.
Tom one of the things I learned very early on spun from the question "what is my part in it". That is the only part I am responsible for. "....For this I am responsible" which is part of the AA declaration rides with me constantly. I am responsible for my part...the conception of it, the choice of it, the behavior of it and the consequences. I am not in anyway responsible for the choices of any other alcoholic not the invenory or judgement of it. My seond 4th step was done with the emphasis on the word "moral" the difference between "good and bad" and still that is my burden. I have the opportunity to do a thing or not...my choice, my will. How I do it however in my recovery incorporates another will of that Power much greater than myself. Pride, Ego and self centeredness are easily recognized of the alcoholic or non-alcoholic. Today I will not let myself be driven by these chracteristic which drive out compassion, empathy, love and respect for others for any reason and mostly for my spiritual and emotional sobriety. No one here has the power to drive you away...unless you allow it and participate.
Keep coming back
-- Edited by Jerry F on Friday 6th of September 2013 03:41:15 AM
I find your saying you are leaving to be quite ironic being that the lack of standardization and moral fiber was completely missing in your rant full of foul language that went on post after post in a thread that is now closed. Did you somehow think that YOU were demonstrating the standard decorum of what is acceptable on an AA forum, or any other AA setting, or that YOU were displaying moral fiber in what you shared in that rant?
I was told more than once, that wherever I go, I take the problem with me. Take a breath, and stop looking at every one else and look at yourself, your dis-ease, and how it is adversely effecting your life today. It has you leaving a AA forum that has been nothing but good to you for a good while. You might need to take a time out, to get yourself centered and focused again. I don't know. I only know that when I was getting sick enough, I had to do some work on me and where I was wasn't really relevant at all. Most likely the place I would and could do my best work and get my most practice towards change was the same place I was leaving.
I have been thrown off kilter by personalities before. I'll be the first to admit that. At the end of the day, it is me who is left feeling like crap when I let other people bother me. Knowing that doesn't stop me from going down that road sometimes though. I'm human and I let my feelings get the best of me at times.
I guess if I could refocus folks on one thing it's this: We are a group of people that have had our lives totally destroyed by alcohol. We are at various stages of recovery but everyone here has struggled with addiction and that uniquely qualifies us to be of special support to each other. I'm remembering back to having dry heaves daily, trying to freaking kill myself, bumping and smashing into everything in my house, getting injuries and bruises, blacking out, crashing my car drunk....and not being able to stop. How demoralizing and horrifying. This board and AA in general has helped me surrender that and have a new way of life. When I really really reflect on that larger picture, personalities fade away and I am able to move forward the best I can.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
PC, I just tried to PM you with words of encouragement. Apparently that function is somehow shut off. Not sure why. Did you turn it off or was it turned off? Kind of concerned because I have been purposely avoiding the site but lurking to support the old friends from the old days, and the concern lies with the odd tone emanating from the site. It is a good site, the best out there. The problem is that even though it is the best, it does not mean it's always fair, and even good programs can skew off course. I really "honestly" feel that John's airing of dirty laundry in the above post was wrong. So John, if you are going to remove PC, just remove me as well...
Welcome back, Tom. No need to leave as I don't think PC was removed from this forum.
Thanks Tanin. Do you know you are kind of like a movie villain? Your bringing up this thread is beautiful and telling of the person you are. John and I had words after his post above. We in no way agreed, but, hey...he runs the web site, and out of deference to him and his truly good works, what am I going to do? I am not going to whine for justice, John is a busy man who does a multitude of good works, and I am not going to drag him down over a disagreement. I just disappeared from the board.
You were very involved in protecting the individual who dropped the first f bomb, and my string of f bombs (and if I recall, it went well beyond the f bomb--in fact I really was a bit proud of how I was able to stretch the profanity!) However, it was a direct result of your protecting the profanity of another individual, but then, when the profanity was stretched into its natural extension.....oh my! Now its a problem! So whats the deal with you? I am just fine without the board, and I have checked in on occasion in support of my old friends from the old days, and, as much as I liked and respected the board as an aid to AA, it is just that--an aid. But why do you have a need to dominate and bully the board? So why could you not welcome me back on the Pinkchip thread?
You keep a mild and even toned knife in your hand and slowly carve out just enough and then run into retreat and ask "What could I have possibly done to offend?"
So, since you will have the last word, enjoy being the big fish in an increasingly smaller and smaller pond. I will go back to using this board at my convenience, if I am not thrown off, and hey, you might change! There is always hope. I will poke in in another 6 months or so and see how its going.
XXX
Tom
__________________
"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
It's stuff like this that helps me grow. I get to look at self and understand where I am at from where I use to be. I gotta say thanks honestly and ask an honest question...where are the open bios? Be happy.
Thanks Tanin. Do you know you are kind of like a movie villain? Your bringing up this thread is beautiful and telling of the person you are. John and I had words after his post above. We in no way agreed, but, hey...he runs the web site, and out of deference to him and his truly good works, what am I going to do? I am not going to whine for justice, John is a busy man who does a multitude of good works, and I am not going to drag him down over a disagreement. I just disappeared from the board. You were very involved in protecting the individual who dropped the first f bomb, and my string of f bombs (and if I recall, it went well beyond the f bomb--in fact I really was a bit proud of how I was able to stretch the profanity!) However, it was a direct result of your protecting the profanity of another individual, but then, when the profanity was stretched into its natural extension.....oh my! Now its a problem! So whats the deal with you? I am just fine without the board, and I have checked in on occasion in support of my old friends from the old days, and, as much as I liked and respected the board as an aid to AA, it is just that--an aid. But why do you have a need to dominate and bully the board? So why could you not welcome me back on the Pinkchip thread? You keep a mild and even toned knife in your hand and slowly carve out just enough and then run into retreat and ask "What could I have possibly done to offend?" So, since you will have the last word, enjoy being the big fish in an increasingly smaller and smaller pond. I will go back to using this board at my convenience, if I am not thrown off, and hey, you might change! There is always hope. I will poke in in another 6 months or so and see how its going. XXX Tom
Tom, I'll just reply by citing the words that Jerry F. posted above over a year ago. They seem as sage and pertinent in January 2015 as they were in September 2013:
Jerry F wrote:
Tom one of the things I learned very early on spun from the question "what is my part in it". That is the only part I am responsible for. "....For this I am responsible" which is part of the AA declaration rides with me constantly. I am responsible for my part...the conception of it, the choice of it, the behavior of it and the consequences. I am not in anyway responsible for the choices of any other alcoholic not the invenory or judgement of it. My seond 4th step was done with the emphasis on the word "moral" the difference between "good and bad" and still that is my burden. I have the opportunity to do a thing or not...my choice, my will. How I do it however in my recovery incorporates another will of that Power much greater than myself. Pride, Ego and self centeredness are easily recognized of the alcoholic or non-alcoholic. Today I will not let myself be driven by these chracteristic which drive out compassion, empathy, love and respect for others for any reason and mostly for my spiritual and emotional sobriety. No one here has the power to drive you away...unless you allow it and participate.
Keep coming back
-- Edited by Jerry F on Friday 6th of September 2013 03:41:15 AM
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