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Post Info TOPIC: What the heck is balance??
Col


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What the heck is balance??
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Though I have only been sober for a relatively short time of 14 months, I've noticed several stages to my sobriety thus far. The first was pretty frantic and muddled. I was a complete mess physically. My emotions were similar to both a roller coaster and a freight train. I worked 2 full time jobs while going to meetings everyday- and nothing else- for 7 months. I slept little, barely had time to eat- it was very unhealthy BUT I was sober for the first time in 24 years. Then came being fired from one of the two jobs- a blessing in disguise. I slept- ALOT. I put on a much needed 10 pounds. I slowed down a bit and regained a bit of balance. At a year I got lazy. I've slowed down too much! Perhaps a touch of depression, but more a sense of being overwhelmed. Not by sobriety, but by life- or the wreckage of a life spent in a drunken stupor that now needs to be dealt with. It's not that I'm dwelling in the past, or beating myself up over it... But there's a lot to be addressed. The practicalities of years of financial irresponsibility, the search for a new line of employment with a college degree but no experience, now dealing with the traumas of a childhood I thought I could drink away... It's life. Ok- so I'm now just learning how to deal with life. Big things, and little things. Like a budget, for example- never had one, just didn't pay bills. It's taken me around 6 months to actually write a resume. I'm whining about wanting a new job, and it's taken me 6 months to 'find' an hour to sit down and put together a resume hahaha. I think I'm stuck between the comfort of what I know (even if it's less than what is best for me), and taking action to make positive and healthy changes. Then again, i have trouble focusing on one project...still some of that 'all or nothing' mentality. Where is the balance? I feel as though I'm maturing into an adult in some respects, but a helpless child in others. It's a very strange place to be, but probably right where I should be. It's like I have so many things on my 'goal list' that it results in basic inertia, procrastination, and confusion. Ah- growing pains! Thanks for listening to the ramble! Glad to be sober, more glad to have been given the opportunity to figure out all this stuff that's called life:)

-- Edited by Col on Sunday 28th of July 2013 09:45:40 PM

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Great share Col, ... ... ...

All I can say is try not to 'expect' too much, too soon ... ... ... you've made great strides in this thing called life this past year, you're still very young and you have a lot ahead of you ... one thing you said is that you're maybe stuck with the comfort of where you are and the act of continuing to take action to change things ...

Continue to do what you know works ... and stay away from the things you know that don't ... ask God for guidance to do the next right thing and it will be revealed to you ... if you are in any way unhappy with your life as it is right now, then write down what it is that you 'wish' to see change and work toward that end ... if it means changing jobs, then by all means start searching for that job that will give you the pleasure you seek ...

just don't let phony excuses hold you back ... at my age, I still think of the 'what ifs' ... don't let time sneak up on you ... write down your goals and post them on the Frig. ... you need to see them every day to stay focused ... and you have us around to support your efforts ...

 

Love ya,

Pappy



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"Life offers no guarantees ... just choices; no certainty ... but consequences; no predictable outcomes ... just the privilege of pursuit."    -Tim Conner



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Pythonpappy wrote:

Great share Col, ... ... ...

All I can say is try not to 'expect' too much, too soon ... ... ... you've made great strides in this thing called life this past year, you're still very young and you have a lot ahead of you ... one thing you said is that you're maybe stuck with the comfort of where you are and the act of continuing to take action to change things ...

Continue to do what you know works ... and stay away from the things you know that don't ... ask God for guidance to do the next right thing and it will be revealed to you ... if you are in any way unhappy with your life as it is right now, then write down what it is that you 'wish' to see change and work toward that end ... if it means changing jobs, then by all means start searching for that job that will give you the pleasure you seek ...

just don't let phony excuses hold you back ... at my age, I still think of the 'what ifs' ... don't let time sneak up on you ... write down your goals and post them on the Frig. ... you need to see them every day to stay focused ... and you have us around to support your efforts ...

 

Love ya,

Pappy


 

I agree with Roger. There are times when we need to do what's right even when it hurts, but it should never distract us from our true calling, should it? I guess it's our way of letting go despite all else. Yes, we still have  responsibilities, like paying our bills, but there are moments also we can't ignore, like putting ourselves out there. It may be the only way to get our proverbial foot in the door.

Okay, this may be hard for so people to understand, but when you get older it makes perfect sense. You ever heard of the phrase "teaching an old dog new tricks". Well, guess what; I have, and boy is it hard. It's like putting 2 pounds of bologna in a 1 pound bag; it ain't happening. So why even try. Well, anyway, I guess it applies to everyone not just old people like myself. Believe it or not, trying something new is my catch phrase of the year- silly as that may sound, but it does bring back memories of my past. I find it rather revealing, though, not to mention awkward, but it does serve its purpose just like recovery. It's my way of exploring every possibility under the sun. And as a side note, it actually feels exciting again.

So, how am I accomplishing this? Well, I'm actually partnering in with people with varying points of view unlike before. Of course, it's done for professionally reasons rather than personal, but honestly it's all good as far as I'm concerned. It reminds me, that despite all our differences we can still find some common ground to work on, or as my wife said "it's about expanding your horizons, today". One can only hope. I hope it works out well for you. 

 



-- Edited by Mr_David on Monday 29th of July 2013 03:50:24 AM

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Mr.David


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Thank you for your share Col!  I can relate to the comfort thingy.....  My default setting is to stay in my comfort zone- limited as it may be.  After several years of sobriety and working The Steps and living God's will to the best of my ability, I thought many things would just fall in my lap.  no  Many things have- not material things- but Spiritual and Emotional growth.  Great stuff- that I'm blessed and grateful for.  But, I had to work with my Sponsor on expanding some of the outside stuff- like relationships ugh..........  I learned in order to increase that comfort zone I had to walk through the  uncomfortable zone.  Not easy, but very rewarding when able to do it.  I've taken small steps and made some progress, but have a long way to go.  What I do is pray to God and then move my feet.  Each time I move my feet I bring him into the picture.  I let him deal with the results to the best of my ability.  Practice acceptance for what those results are.  He knows far more than I what I need.  smile 



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Dear Col, I definitely do recall how very un-balanced my life was, or seemed, in my early months of sobriety.  Believe me!  I can absolutely relate!!  What began to change everything for me was when I sat down one day and wrote out a complete Fourth Step inventory -- at my sponsor's not-so-gentle urging.  When I would tell all my problems and difficulties to my sponsor, he never really gave me any specific advice as to how to deal with certain things in my life.  Instead, he would always reply by saying, "What Step are you on?  If you work the Step you're on right now, things will look better."  Of course, I didn't believe him at first, but I did it anyway.  Afterwards, I would always be amazed to discover that he was right all along.  25 years later, the answer to my troubles still remains the same:  I ask myself, "Mike, what Step are you on?"  Then, I get busy.  It still works, and I'm still amazed!  Blessings to you, Mike D.



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