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Post Info TOPIC: Tragedy


Senior Member

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Tragedy
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It took a while for me to screw up the courage to write this. Don't know if I'm right in doing this, but here goes. Recently, there was a suicide by jumping. I won't go into details. Don't need to. But the young man who took his life used to be in our AA group. Note "used to". I'm not saying that leaving AA was the direct cause for this final decision, but I wish he would've discussed what was vexing him to someone. Anyone. This hit me hard because I used to think about "pulling the plug" on a daily basis. And I'd be lying if I told you the thought doesn't creep up from time to time. But, as I learned in the progam/fellowship, THEY ARE JUST THOUGHTS. If there are any out there who come across these thoughts, PLEASE DON'T CARRY THEM OUT! Reach out! There is help for you! I promise! Because if you do, yes, your pain will be over, but your family and friends will be in agony for a long time, some for the rest of their lives. I love you all. Peace.-James



-- Edited by AlcoHater on Wednesday 22nd of May 2013 11:19:32 PM

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MIP Old Timer

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Hi James,

Sorry to hear about the above situation, it is truly sad to hear about this happening to anyone.

It is impossible to try know or understand what might be going on inside someones mind. You are right in that our hope is that people with these feelings need to reach out. Our book tells us to not hesitate to make use of medical professionals in these instances. We try to comfort but instist on them seeking professional help if at all possible.

I always need be reminded of our limitations as AA members and sponsors.

Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others....






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Rob

"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."



MIP Old Timer

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Rule #1: Alcoholics who refuse to seek or accept help, die in their addiction ...

Rule #2: Recovering Alcoholics cannot change Rule #1



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"Life offers no guarantees ... just choices; no certainty ... but consequences; no predictable outcomes ... just the privilege of pursuit."    -Tim Conner



MIP Old Timer

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James - thank you for the message and allowing us to see you healing...

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 I may have been sober before today, But I've never been sober today before :)  



MIP Old Timer

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Thank you for the post James.  I'm always sadened to hear this happen.  I had a friend in AA, a beautiful young female that stopped working The Program in it's entirety and took her own life.  Very tragic.  When she worked The Program she was healthy, well respected, sought after(from other females-Sponsor) and living a good life.  I've learned here that suicide it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. 

Self-centered fear blocks us from being honest, open and willing to talk to someone about our issues, problems or thoughts.  The ability to let go and take direction from someone who has clarity and a larger perspective on things.  I've been there- I never want to go back to that deep despair that brought me to my knees.  On the other hand, I'm grateful that I reached that point and had enough pain to open up to another person before seeking other solutions. 

Thank you for the reminder today that this thinking diesase kills.  Bottomline...........



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MIP Old Timer

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I was just thinking James, ... the AA program and 'way-of-life' isn't just the solution to our drinking problem, but also to all life's problems ... many of us who were taking medication for mental problems have been granted a reprieve from taking pills as a solution to our mental condition and replaced that with a spiritual solution that works (I don't recommend this unless you know you don't need the pills any longer ...  AND with a doctor's blessings) ... AA has seen many miracles like this over time ...

AND many of us with some 'time' in the program have come to wish many 'non-alcoholics' were in a '12 Step' program ... ... ... it is the way to healthy living ...

We just had a funeral for one of our friends in the Atlanta area 2 weeks ago ... great guy, stopped coming to meetings ... went in for minor surgery 3 weeks ago, everything was fine, he went home, got depressed, got a couple '2 liter' bottles, drank them ... he was found a day or two later by one of our members that stopped by to see him ... bottle in hand, lying in his 'Easy-Chair', deader 'n a door nail ... ... ... it happens all the time ...

If we follow the principles and procedures in the BB and the 12 & 12, and practice them today, there will be NO problems that we can't handle ... ... ... sanely !!!



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"Life offers no guarantees ... just choices; no certainty ... but consequences; no predictable outcomes ... just the privilege of pursuit."    -Tim Conner



MIP Old Timer

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One of the saddest parts of being in this fellowship is that you will have to "step over a lot of bodies" on the way to long term sobriety.  no



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Col


Senior Member

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Thank you for this post, and the responses. I'm very sorry for your loss. I am now just beginning to comprehend how lucky I am, and all of you are, to be simply living sober. I am often reminded of just how close I came to this end, and how pointless it would have been for me to go out like that. I have heard people in the program say exactly what Dean just said, and I thought it callous and cruel at first. Now I realize how true this is. Very sad, indeed. We are blessed.

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MIP Old Timer

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Love to you, Alcohater.

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MIP Old Timer

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Yeah James, I'm sorry you lost a friend in your group. Last October, I attended a high school reunion. One of the girls that I was close to had 25 years clean and sober (NA group member). 7 of us went out for some dinner but we wound up sitting in the bar. She started drinking with the others. One of the others reminded her that she doesn't drink and she said "I'm sick of that ****, the meetings and BS people blah blah, blah. She was buried in March.  no



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Senior Member

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Posts: 359
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Thank you for your post, James.

I remember well sitting in the driveway of the Recovery Home in 1989 with a gun to my head saying "What's the use even trying... I'm washed up".

As you stated, it took a while for those thoughts to leave.

The oldtimers said "Keep coming back .. it gets better" and they weren't lying.

All the best.

Bob R

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Close friend of Bill W. since 1989

 



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Thanks for sharing. Dean is right. Some dedicate themselves and some can not.

I hurt for what you are feeling.

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BTW..My real name is Dori

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