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Post Info TOPIC: my life as a upscale call girl..
salone


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my life as a upscale call girl..
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I do not know if this is the place but I would like to interduce myself.. I'm salone.. Im a prostitute for the past 15 yrs..and no Im not the average street walker .. I travel all over the country I dress nice and most of my jons are rich and upscale .. I work in the highest upscale hotels and wear fine suits hair and make up perfect! Always smiling and have great conversation! ( when drinking) you would think I have it together..before i have to walk into a hotel i pull my vodka bottle out of my purse while sitting in my car i have to atleast drink half smoke 2 cigs I wait till i feel "better" and able to handle the anxiety of what happens next..   am i going to jail? is he crazy?.. so i walk in the room..and by luck i made it through another date..whats next? to the bar..more drinking..guys walk up to me and see im drunk..laugh..make fun of me..the bartender giving me the eye..im loud by now now longer upscale..im a drunk whore..not caring about shit..i cant focuse on makin anymore money..im spending the 500 i just made on drinks.. and can no longer drive..must take a cab..so in my high dollar suit and heels im stumbling to the cab with less money then i made.. i wake up in my hotel..thirsty..alone..and think where is my purse? ha! i find it..look in my wallet and happy to see i have 300 left..look out the window and see my car is not in the parking lot! wtf? ok no matter what i do not drive drunk..but i have to call the cab to pick it up..more money..and my hotel is due..so now we are down 150.. what do u know its the same cab driver who brought me home...he turns around and tells me how i showed him my  and told him i would <barter> for a cab ride home.. i know he is not bullshitting... im sick and shaking.. and wish he would stfu.. i get in my car..hurting anxiety is really up now..im thinking omg i f'd up!! again!! why? i think of the bartender looking at me..i think of derick and his buddies laughin at me...i go to nearest liquer store..and get a bottle of vodka..got to get better..got to go back to work and tonight i swear i will not drink like that and im really going to save some money and im going to get out of this!!...

 





-- Edited by StPeteDean on Sunday 2nd of October 2011 08:01:33 PM

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Jerry F


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(((((Salone)))))  Each of us have our stories about what it was like back then and you have told yours now.  How many times have you promised it would be better or different the "next" time only to have it the same or worse?  it get worse.  Aside from being a prostitute chances are that you may also be alcoholic as I understand that alcohol motivates you to live another hour or couple or the rest of the day or just for enough time to find your place to hide and crash. 

I no longer drink.  The twelves steps, traditions, slogans, Big Book literature and sponsorship with AA meetings and constantly working on building a relationship with a power greater than myself and the program have helped me not to.  The spiritual nature of the program helped me to correct my behaviors which manytimes were similar to what you have said here.  I lied and cheated and stole often and sex for what I alone got out of it was a best manipulation practice for a long time.  That is gone now along with the drinking also.

I had to want it so bad that my priority became the program of recovery before anything else...the absolute change.   How bad do you want real change and what do you want to do to get it.  Physical revelations and promises of sexual gratification won't work with those who care to help and support you and unconditionally love you as it was done with us at first arriving.

What will your life be, can you imagine as an upscale member of Alcoholics Anonymous?   Just imagine.

(((((Hugs))))) smile



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salone


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ty so much..i know tomorrow will be tough..but i want this so bad..i will lay in bed and shake and sweat..alone.. i do not know what the next day will bring..stumbling shakin to the ice machine for ice water..and i have nobody..it is going to be tough.. day 2 seems to be rougher because im tired of being sick.. and want to just feel better..its not fun..tossing and turning..never feeling your asleep.. please lets keep in touch as i do this i will truly thank u when its all said and done


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rrib


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salone wrote:

i know tomorrow will be tough..but i want this so bad..i will lay in bed and shake and sweat..alone..

You're not alone. There are meetings almost everywhere. And we've all been there for the 1st time too. If you can't find the hot-line number for your area in the phone book, the main A.A. web site might help http://www.aa.org/

Don't wait. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll begin feeling better.



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pinkchip


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Welcome Salone

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carlasober


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Welcome, Keep Coming Back!






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turninggrey


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Hey Salone,
If you are alone and sick just waiting for the hangover to end, read some of this:

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm

Its our book, and I recommend "How it works" and "Personel Stories".  Write back and tell us if you do not recognize yourself and your story somewhere in there.  We have all been there in some form or fashion.  I can definatly see a problem for you in your profession because it is so alcohol charged.  There are many folks who have had to change jobs to make their quest for sobriety work, and I am talking about DJ's, Bartenders, Strippers, Musicians, etc etc.  If you are convinced you want to stop, let us know.

Prayers

Tom



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Jerry F


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Salone...I echo what rrib said; you are not alone and never have to feel that way ever again.  In program you will come to understand that you have never ever been alone and I will love to be here when you express that and how you learned it.   Keep coming back...get to the meetings in your area and let us sweat it out with you.   ((((hugs)))) smile



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StPeteDean


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Welcome Salone, you only have to get sober once, if you remember where you came from. I remember well sweating it out for 3 or 4 days. Not fun but the only way to recover. Good luck in your new journey

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salone


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 Well today is my 2nd day sober and I FEEL GREAT!!!! I'M SO HAPPY I know I have far to go.."rest of my life"...Right now I'm just speechless...tears of joy... I dont know but the first day was not as bad as they usually were..I guess the wanting it so bad took over that hangover shakes in the ass!!! YEA! Ive decided to build a website and With my extra time im teaching my self online on how to design it...instead of sitting and drinking im reading tutorials and taking notes...im really really happy...and i thank this site..the things i read here..thank u soo much...tomorrow im going to the gym!! It feels good...i can not wait till my 30 days!! omg its been so long..sense i said i have not drank in 30days...once again thank you all for your support and not judging me...but i just had to be honest for once i had to talk to somone....thank you..i would like to come to the meetings online...this is where i feel more comfortable...ty god bless xoxoxoxoxo!!!



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angelov8


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Welcome.  I came here on my second or third day sober and was totally uncomfortable with anything not on-line.  I'm going to tell you what the kind folks here strongly suggested.  Go to a face to face meeting as soon as possible.  Like tomorrow morning.  If you can get out of bed and outside, try a meeting.  It's free, I assure you there are plenty of folks who will welcome you and have been in the same spot as you.  As far as you job goes, and the stress of the booze, my feeling is that if it is time and a person is willing they can learn to live sober no matter the situation.  If in a program of recovery, the situation will change and I know I have learned to make better choices, like staying out of bars for anything other than working.  In addition to that, the other changes in me and my life have blown me away, it's been amazing.  That said I still work as a bartender.  I don't recomend it-staying in a situation that adds to the stress of trying to live sober.  I just want to point out that it can be done, no matter what.  For me, I guess there has been just the right lessons to be learned in the same old job.  I'm excited to see what around the corner now.  And so grateful to be sober, no matter what else this is the triumph.



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mikef


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WELCOME,REACHING OUT , .kEEP COMING BACK!smile



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salone


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Today is even better!!..I sang out loud in my car!!! lol happy ..would think people thought i was drunk!! drunk on being sober!! smiling feeling good about the day and doing things I know i would not have been doing if i would of been hungover or drinking..I'm reading the book..everyday! When i get settled I will go to a meeting and I'm actually excited to meet fellow members and work my program!!! I feel i have a new lease on life! Thanks to you all my new friends here .. I read my biography..and I think its a good reminder to myself...at how much pain drinking made my life...I think I will change it when I get my 30 day chip on nov 1st. god is good.. oh yeah..did i say thanks??? lol thank u thank u thank u thank u!!!xoxoxoxoxo

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pinkchip


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A day at a time Salone. Very inspired by your journey so far but all you have to do is keep putting 1 foot in front of the other. Not all the days are great in sobriety but on the whole, this way of life is so much better.

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Mr_David


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pinkchip wrote:

A day at a time Salone. Very inspired by your journey so far but all you have to do is keep putting 1 foot in front of the other. Not all the days are great in sobriety but on the whole, this way of life is so much better.

 Amen...keep coming back, it works if you work it. So, work it...



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StPeteDean


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Happy for you, keep riding the wave of recovery, it's a blessing. Try and get to a meeting this week.

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Rob84


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Welcome Salone!,

Glad you are feeling better and making meetings. Just want to say I have been in AA for a long time and have known many women with similar stories who have changed thier lives.

Keep coming back...

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Rob

"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
salone


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after reading bills story ..i realized how important it is to get to a meeting.. tonight i will read the next chapter.. today is good as well.. except its the first time i had a craving...i guess im a little bored an noticed a bar and grill across from the hotel..it didnt last long..i thought about everything and thought about the program..and the craving went away! Im just glad i have somewhere to go now..thanks also..there is a online meeting tonight right? im on eastcoast time..is it 8pm? or 9pm?



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turninggrey


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http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom1.html

8pm eastern. The book is unreal for being written so long ago.  It proves that the more things change the more they stay the same.

Tom



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