It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got.BB
When all else fails - RTFM
Hi There Steve,When you started your Post with:"I did my step 5 a while ago as well as Step 9, etc. I work my Step 10 daily and to my Step 11 work too."
Years ago, I was sort of ease dropping on this man that I admired, he was speaking to all three of his Sponsees at the same time. And he said basically, no, you cannot just skip ahead, but you can always go back, and then sighted the 4th Step as an example, he continued with, if you find you are having a really difficult time on this step, or any step, my suggestion would be to go back and redo the 3rd Step, (in relation to the 4th Step I mentioned he was first talking about).
How about asking your Sponsor, well this is a grey area, but what the heck, if you are feeling like your Character Defects are glaring back at you, how about asking if you can go back and revisit that step, and stay on it, til you feel some relief.
I still have many, well let's just say they try and visit. :) and when they raise their narly heads occasionally, have to deal with the whatever defect of character it is, Pray immediately about help with the removal, or be faced with the feeling of falling back into that Old Bondage of Self, and dont like that place at all. The big plus I saw to this Post, is you bringing out into the Sunlight, and letting GOD, and your dear Sponsor now help you with the removal of them....Third Step Prayer is also a wonderful Prayer on what you have been aware of.A Big hug dearie,Tonicakes....
What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well. He begins to think life doesn't treat him right. He decides to exert himself more. He becomes, on the next occasion, still more demanding or gracious, as the case may be. Still the play does not suit him. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic trouble? Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather than harmony?
People Pleasing....goal, you want someone to like you, of course it is a selfish gesture.....I believe I spent the first half of my life wanting acceptance from others, to the second halfof my life, of honoring myself with the AA Program....and the only one that I want real unconditional love from and for and a feeling of being "right" with is my HP, that I always choose to call God.....As has been taught to me...."When we KNOW better, We DOBetter....