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Post Info TOPIC: Acceptance Pg. 417 4th edition Or pg. 449 for the rest of us!


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Acceptance Pg. 417 4th edition Or pg. 449 for the rest of us!
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And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation-- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.

-- Edited by soberdrunk on Tuesday 23rd of February 2010 08:18:54 PM

-- Edited by soberdrunk on Tuesday 23rd of February 2010 08:25:04 PM

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Justin S.


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RE: Acceptance Pg. 517
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I can't tell you how many times my sponsor and former sponsors have had me read this. I have it memorized pretty much.
And you know what? Every time I read it, it changes my perspective on whatever I'm going through. It's a good thing.
Enjoy!


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Justin S.


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Amen.  Thanks, Jusin.

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RE: Acceptance Pg. 417 4th edition Or pg. 449 for the rest of us!
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Thanks JUSTIN,things to remember when we start getting sparky!! When we need to rein ourselves in and see what part were playing in the song!!!   excellent...........

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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.


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Really enjoyed reading that again. Just came from a 12x12 meeting on step one & I spoke that acceptance is the only way I've been able to stay sober. Just knowing & admitting I was an alcoholic & that I was powerless over situations, that my life had become unmanagable just wasn't good enough to keep me sober. I had to accept these & change what I can to make my life better. I'm no longer powerless over these situations. My life isn't as unmanagable now as it was when I was drinkig. I'm confident as long as I don't drink my life will become more managable. Being realistic I know that every aspect of my life won't be managable & that I'll still be powerless over certain situations helps me cope when things does go wrong.

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             God grant me the
serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
                               Rheinhold Niebuhr



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I like this but i find it very hard.

i always think of issues where it requres people to not accept the status quo and where people need to challenge how things are in order to make them better. I find it hard to comprehend how evil in this world, eg child sexual abuse, or animal cruelty, human cruelty is part of Gods plan and that nothing is by mistake in this world.
I really struggle with this issue.

i have a lot of things I am passionate about, where i activily go out and spend my time trying to change things for the better, these things i feel passionate about, they do make me upset, very upset, i feel like this world is a very dark place much of the time and it depresses me a lot. But I guess without being upset i doubt i would spend my time trying to change things for the better though. So its good i am upset enough to be motivated to want to change things.

But if i just accepted these things and didnt try change things outside of myself, and if everyone had done that then eg there would be no womens rights or other liberties that people had to fight for.

I guess the thing is to accept how things are. as crap as it is. accepting doesnt mean doing nothing to change things for the better. accepting means accepting the world as it is, and trying to change myself inside to cope with it, looking at myself to try make my own part of this world a good place, doing what i can to help make things better and accepting i cannot change the whole world, as much as i would like to, i can only do so much. I guess i really hate the world as it is, i truly do, but if i didnt then i wouldnt be bothered enough to actually do anything to try improve things. So maybe i need to accept how i hate the world lol.

ack. see i get very confused by this when applying it to things that do require humans to act to try make the world a better pace.

I guess in that case its accepting how things truly are and trying to have faith that all these horrible things are part of Gods plan, that my drive to help make things kinder and others work for this also must be part of Gods plan.

Gods plan, jeepers that is just so hard to comprehend!! I really find it hard to think a HP allows such cruelty and suffering in the world. I know people say oh its to do with learning lessons but i find it is impossible to get my head around.

This is something i need to med and pray on i guess.



-- Edited by slugcat on Wednesday 24th of February 2010 05:16:36 AM

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slugcat wrote:

 

I like this but i find it very hard...I really struggle with this issue....

i have a lot of things I am passionate about, ... they do make me upset, very upset, i feel like this world is a very dark place much of the time and it depresses me a lot. But I guess without being upset i doubt i would spend my time trying to change things for the better though. So its good i am upset enough to be motivated to want to change things....

I guess i really hate the world as it is, i truly do, but if i didnt then i wouldnt be bothered enough to actually do anything to try improve things. So maybe i need to accept how i hate the world lo

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This is not a healthy way to deal with these issues (and in essence is  comparing out) at the expense of our serenity and ultimately our sobriety.  We can always find extreme examples to disprove a proverbial point.  The bottom line with this suggestion of acceptance is to keep our disease from pushing us over the edge into a dry drunk, so that we'll feel so uncomfortable we'll want to get drunk over it.  If you're having trouble with the literal interpretation of this passage on acceptance then consider using it as a psychological model, as I believe it was intended, much like an emotions filter.  Overcharged emotional responses are not productive, but they do remind me of how my parents handled issues and me on occasion.

Acceptance doesn't mean that we have to like it, it just suggest that these events should've happened because they did happen.   Being in denial (angrily  disbelieving or refusing to  understand why bad things happen in this world) to the point of emotional explosion will destroy us in the process.  I really believe that this passage about acceptance should always be read with the 10th step to include the parts about the spiritual axiom and how we, as alcoholics, are not equipped to deal with justifiable anger.

I've forgotten how long that you've been sober now, but for the first 3 years of my sobriety, I turned the television off completely. I still don't watch the news very often and never watch local news.  This was during the time that the Berlin wall came down ('89-'92) and many other historical events occurring, somehow the world and I survived without my knowledge of all that and guess what?  I got sober and stayed sober.  If I'm getting irrate about issues how affective can I be during the time I'm upset?

If I calmly say an acceptance phrase such as "That's human nature at work"  or "it is what it is", then I can move on to the serenity prayer and find if there is something that I can do about it or not.



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yeh if i am irate about issues i waste time being upset. on the other hand if i  ignore stuff then i end up not knowing, and then not caring bc i cant care about something i dont know and i dont want to not care. i spent ages in my life not caring about anything and i really want to care.
I dont watch the news either, i think its horrible! but i am informed about some specific issues that ive felt strongly about for a while.

i will try and practise the 'its human nature' but man it really is hard, what humans can get up to is so horrible sometimes. human nature i dont like. i dont like most of this planet either really what humans get up to pisses me off a lot .

i will read 10 now with this acceptance, thank you for the insight.
I am a bit lost about viewing it from a pscychology point of view.


i try inserting the words i am upset about in the acceptance  paragraph, about certain personal issues. if i do that it helps. i still suck at accepance of these more personal things but it does help.
it seems a massive leap of faith though, such a huge leap of faith. And once i try that then i am left with the questions, WHY is it this way, WHY does HP want it this way. Then the leap of faith i guess to just try trust HP. eugh.




-- Edited by slugcat on Wednesday 24th of February 2010 09:03:06 AM

-- Edited by slugcat on Wednesday 24th of February 2010 09:05:21 AM

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"angrily disbelieving or refusing to understand why bad things happen in this world"

i guess whats the answer why bad things happen, (bad things that humans do?) because the humans doing the badthings are sick people?

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Thanks Justin...I have been thinkin about that idea a lot lately.

Peace,
Rob


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If bad things did not happen, how would we even ever know when to be grateful for good things. Furthermore, while there are horrible things that happen in the world, that leaves room for the rest of us to try and help, to try and make a difference, while accepting that this is just the way things are. It does not help me to dwell on the problems of the planet as much as how I might be part of the solution if possible.

P.S.  My moments of feeling best and of greatest gratitude have been those moments that I am just driving along or doing whatever and I just go "Wow...Acceptance really is the answer."  Those are moments when I am at peace with things and I didn't have that before AA.  I pray that those moments get closer together and last longer, but I have to work the program for that to happen.

-- Edited by pinkchip on Wednesday 24th of February 2010 08:50:57 PM

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slugcat wrote:

"angrily disbelieving or refusing to understand why bad things happen in this world"

i guess whats the answer why bad things happen, (bad things that humans do?) because the humans doing the badthings are sick people?



That's one way of looking at it.  It's been going on for 10,000 years and will go on as long as there's humans left.  No new news here.  The thing is, we're here to save ouselves (it's a selfish program).  If there's no us, there's no way we'll help anyone else, so taking a break from our humanitarianism to get a handle on our sobriety and more importantly our emotional sobriety.  Letting go of these unproductive misplaced emotions is a task and sometimes we are addicted to the negative emotions due to the strong chemicals that they release in our brain.  John Bradshaw wrote about this in "Healing the shame that binds us".

 



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For me there is a fine line between acceptance and apathy. For example, if I am sitting in a meeting and the topic is "what I did this week, etc...." Should I say nothing? or should I bring it back to the spiritual solution, which is the sole reason for the existence of an AA group.

I write daily inventory, I firmly believe the Big BOok's promise that my troubles are of my own making, that being said my current teachers tells me regualrly.If I do not stand for something, I will fall for anything.

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Rob B wrote:

For me there is a fine line between acceptance and apathy.  that being said my current teachers tells me regualrly.If I do not stand for something, I will fall for anything.



Big difference between "standing for something" and losing your mind over it.  Emotions don't get the job done, solutions do.

 



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Please elaborate Dean.

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Hey Rob, I guess instead of rewriting, read some of the other posts in this thread including mine and slugcats in order to understand the context of what I wrote. It may not apply to your post.

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Monday 1st of March 2010 03:34:40 PM

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