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Post Info TOPIC: Seeking someone to talk to


Newbie

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Seeking someone to talk to
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Hey guys.  My name is David, I'm 24, and I think im an alcoholic.  That is why I am here.  I've been curious to talk to recovering alcoholics about their experiences before they sought help.  To keep things really short, I consider myself a functioning alcoholic.  I drink pretty much every night but it never affects my everyday life.  I don't miss work, I don't miss paying rent, I don't wake up and feel the need to drink but will usually do it because I like it.  Rarely do I drink during the day, it's usually something I do strictly at night.  Basically, I feel like it's not really a problem but then I think "alcoholics never believe they have a problem."  Because of this I would love to strike up a conversation with an alcoholic and talk about your experiences.  Find out what was going through your head when you were drinking.  I don't know if this forum has private messaging, but if anyone has some free time that they could speak with me that would be great.  I'll keep my eyes on this board otherwise if you could send me an email that would be great; Bonesfan@yahoo.com.  Thanks.



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ljc


MIP Old Timer

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David, welcome !
Im Lori, alcoholic .

Only you can decide if you are alcoholic or not.
I would suggest you finding AA meetings in your area ... then go to a few meetings and sit back and listen.
You may want to obtain our text called 'the big book' of AA and read at least the first 164 pages.

In the meetings you will find understanding, caring, sincere ppl who will be only to happy to help you .

Ive heard it best said like this : theres no shame in being an alcoholic. There is however shame when I know it and dont do anything about it.

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K.i.s.s.



MIP Old Timer

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Hello David,

Welcome to the board and I just sent you a pm


Dean

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MIP Old Timer

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Hi David andd Welcome!!

What Lori said is so true.....

Hope to hear more from you...

again Welcome to MIP..

Toni

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MIP Old Timer

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Hi David!
Welcome to the board.  Let us know how your research goes. 

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Senior Member

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Hey David, and welcome. I agree with Lori that only you can say whether you are an alcoholic, but I commend you for checking in here to see what other recovering alcoholics say about their drinking. I wish I could answer your question succinctly, but I really don't think that's possible. But I can share a little about my drinking and recovery. I got sober at 17, so I have a very short and honestly pretty uneventful "drinking career". Many of the stories I heard in AA were eventful and I never related with them. But I heard the definition of alcoholism as a person who can't control the amount they take once they start, and/or someone who drinks at times that they don't want to drink. That was me. I never thought alcohol affected my life, until I was sober for some months. I never got in trouble in school, at home, or with the law, unlike many of my friends. But it affected the way I felt, the way I reacted to life, my relationships, my sense of self and other things. But these are just my own experiences as an alcoholic, there are so many other stories out there.

I agree that going to a few AA meetings and reading the first 164 pages of the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) is a good suggestion. This is a tricky disease, and if you are at the point of even asking about this, it's a sign that something is going on with you. If you are one of us and want what we have, then welcome! If you aren't, then we'd be happy to know someone is now better educated about this disease and wish you well.

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MIP Old Timer

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Aloha David and glad to have you here.  You have already received some good
feedback and suggestions.  For me I have never met a "functioning alcoholic"
and though I accept that this is what you believe yourself to be now that you
are here pretty well dilutes the definition.  If you are looking for feedback and
for help thru others Experience, Strength and Hope its probably because some
of the ole functioning is affected.  Drinking when you don't need to and liking it
inspite of your concerns isn't about functioning but the dysfunctioning one.  I
know a little bit about the alcoholic double talk...the "I know but" stuff.  That
was me.  I use to do the "You have a problem with it but I don't" routine and
then I got the invitation to investigate and was brought to the awareness that
I am an alcoholic (not a bad person) and will always be an alcoholic which means
I am alergic to alcohol to the point that it has nearly taken my life on several
occasions.  I didn't even get into AA because I was an alcoholic.  I back doored
this program coming in because of someone elses alcoholism and then getting
woke up.   I made the statement "My name is Jerry F and I am alcoholic" years
after I stopped drinking.  

Continue to come here and read and its okay to go to open AA meetings to
investigate your own conclusion that you are alcoholic.  I suggest that you
don't drink during the investigation period for many reasons, only one of them
being that you might not hear some ESH that could save your life.

In support

 



-- Edited by Jerry F on Monday 30th of November 2009 06:39:28 PM

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Senior Member

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The only requirement for AA membership is the desire to stop drinking. I had the desire long before I quit, problem is I could not imagine life without alcohol. Then I got to the point where I was afaid to take a drink but more afraid of not taking a drink because I knew what happened when I didn't drink. I felt sorry for people who didn't drink because I wondered how in hell did they cope with life without drinking. I am sober now for several years and I can no longer imagine life with drinking anymore. I would rather go through life sober believing I'm an alcoholic then to go through life drunk trying to convince myself I'm not.

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Tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn.



MIP Old Timer

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Hi David, and a big warm wecome to you from all of us.Please stick around!

Alcoholism is not how, when, or how much we drink, so much as it is about what happens in our lives as a result. Do we have things or people important to us in our lives that we avoid or ignore due to our drinking? Do we ever tell ourselves we are just going to not drink for the evening, and then find ourselves drinking, or even intoxicated? Do we fool ourselves by saying, "I don't NEED to drink at this particular time, I justwant to..."? Are we using our career, our ability to keep our outer appearance, or our financial status as justificaton that we "really don't have a problem"? Have we ever awakened the next day after drinking, wondering exactly what happened? Have we ever woken up next to a person, or in a place we didn't want to be with/in? Has anyone close to us- family, friends, lovers, mentioned that we might be drinking too much, or that we don't act the same when drinking? Have we ever told ourselves that we would only have one drink, or 2 drinks, and then we find some silly excuse to throw that out the window and get drunk? When we start drinking, do we sometimes find that we have to keep drinking until we are good and drunk? Have we ever put something off that was important, in favor of having a drink? How do we fell if we take a few days or a week or a month off drinking? Are we restless, irritable and discontent?

Thankfully, we now know that we don't have to be the poor sot under the bridge anymore, or in an dou of jail, to be an alcoholic. Becasue of this, we can prevent BECOMING that person, by getting sober before we lose everything.

There is a wealth of experience and wisdom here on this forum. There is also some terrific information in the Big Book of our program, called "Alcoholics Anonymous". You can read the Big Book online, by simply Googling "Alcoholics Anonymous book", and going to through teh "aa.org" website. Many of us, regardless of our social stature or experiences, find ourselves in those pages. Finctioning doctors,lawyers, politicians, artists, homemakers, construction workers, disabled, you name it..... alcoholism does not differentiate. It cn happen to any of us. And there is a way to live successfully and happily without alcohol. The only requirement to get involved with AA is "A desire to stop drinking". There is no religion in this program, and no shunning of the person who comes and explores, and then decides not to participate. AA is a program of attraction, rather promotion. And each small meeting supports itself through its own members' small donations. It is truly the most non-profit organization out there. We seek to gain nothing from helping others with their drinking, only the satisfaction that each one of us gets by helping another person to get rid of this destructive habit and grow beyod the need for it, in happiness and peace within.

Feel free to visit and be involved in this forum as much as you like. Any among us would be happy to share with you our own experience, strength and hope.

Take care, and again, welcome!

Joni

-- Edited by jonijoni1 on Tuesday 1st of December 2009 12:50:32 AM

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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do
that which you have no ability to do.


MIP Old Timer

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I only ever drank at night or in the late afternoon. That didn't stop me from wrecking my car...at night. Busting my head open...at night. Repeatedly going out to buy yet another bottle of wine...at night. I'm sure had I given it another year, I would have had a flask in my desk at work. I dunno how alcoholism crept up on me the way it did and I went from heavy drinker to seriously impaired alcoholic. I thought it didn't affect my daily life and sort of considered myself a "functioning alcoholic" for a while...but functioning was not being plastered every night...and eventually, the consequences started coming. The worst consequence was I didn't grow as a person and learn the things I was supposed to learn about how to live while I was getting wasted all the time. All I learned was that alcohol would stop bad feelings and then I would wonder why I was always freaking out and going crazy over dumb crap. I wish I'd sobered up at 24.

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Senior Member

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Welcome to the board. I too am a young alcoholic at 22. If you every want to talk feel free to send me a pm.

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Veteran Member

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Welcome!

I am a young alcoholic so I had a hard time identifying in the beginning. As soon as I stopped looking at what was different and started looking at the similarities I realized I am exactly where I need to be. I really liked what Bob had to say

"I would rather go through life sober believing I'm an alcoholic then to go through life drunk trying to convince myself I'm not."

I actually have friends who have said... "I wish I had a sponsor to help me figure out how to live life" LOL its pretty funny.

I was a "functioning alcoholic" as well. I never screwed up the superficial things in life much (I had a GOOD job, 2 college degrees and working on a 3rd, a car...). Not that school and work aren't important, but I didn't know how much I had hurt people in my life by not showing up for life. It wasn't until months of being sober that I began to know.

Alcoholism doesn't discriminate we alcoholics come in all shapes and sizes.... I hope you find your way.

For me signs that I am an alcoholic:
-while getting sober I had drinking dreams
-the small stuff in life is HUGE until I realize (usually with help) that its not
-I want to drink when I want to escape life, stop feeling...
-I don't drink one [not one drink and not one night]
-All week I looked for the weekend when I could drink
my list could go forever....


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"What most people need to learn in life is how to love people and use things instead of using people and loving things."
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